Embracing Lifes Riddles Without Asking Questions
by Nemesis13
Summary: When Harry and Voldemort died at each others hands, Harry awoke in an alley as a ten year old girl. Perplexed at this turn of events but not overly surprised, she is taken to Wool's Orphanage. Now known as Iris Black, she is roomed with Tom Riddle, who she decides to befriend because honestly, why not see how things unfold from the other side? It might be fun.
1. Chapter 1

**This was inspired by a conversation with Watermelonsmellinfellon and honestly I had alot of fun with the idea. This is a teaser opener to see if there is any interest in a Harry turned Fem!Harry/Tom Riddle love story written by yours truly. Please review!**

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Harry sat up and took in his surroundings, rotting refuse, snow drifts, and too close filthy alley walls. Yay, he could be in any major city in the northern hemisphere, good times. Sighing he sat up and took stock of his situation, Voldemort hit him with a killing curse as Harry had sent a piece of masonry through his head in front of Hogwarts then...he was...here? Wherever here was?

Ugh. Where was Hermione and her 'beaded bag of whatever the hell he needed at the moment' when he really _did_ need it? Standing up he noticed a rather dramatic change, namely while he'd never been tall, and would never reach Ron's rather terrifying height he didn't recall being _this_ short. Stumbling along the alley he approached a cracked windowpane that was marred black from the inside grime and stared at his reflection in open shock.

Well, _her_ reflection it would seem.

Long ruby red hair that reminded him of fiendfyre framed his face, while iridescent emerald eyes stared back at him, he took in his slightly freckled nose and creamy white skin and came to a simple conclusion. He was adorable. Which concerned him immensely seeing as he appeared to be in the slums of some major metropolitan city.

Harry was a wizard first and foremost, so a sex change and de-aging really didn't shake him that much, for crying out loud his best friend turned herself into a werecat when she was thirteen. As far as he was concerned nothing was outside the realm of possibility when it came to magic. That being said, he grew up with the Dursleys, he knew what abuse was, he knew how rough shite could get for a downtrodden kid, and he was aware how lucky he was not being born a girl in that kind of environment.

He was in a worse environment now, in the body of an adorable, what appeared to be ten year old girl, without a wand or his Godfather's knife. Good times.

"Hey girl, what're you do'in there?"

Bollocks.

Turning to the voice with trepidation his spirits lifted a bit when he saw the man was a constable, then he frowned realizing how...archaic his uniform was.

Still, manners, "Errr, I'm lost officer..." The constable, who had a rather impressive waxed mustache that Vernon could only ever _wish_ to grow much less pull off with such dignity smiled lightly towards her.

"Where are your parents love?"

Harry, quite automatically whispered, "Dead sir..."

The man slouched a bit and approached Harry placing a hand on his...her...shoulder and gripped it lightly, "You have a home to go to?"

Hogwarts was home but it was rubble right now, and while 4 Privet Drive was more prison then anything even that wasn't safe anymore, so Harry being Harry replied with all honesty.

"No sir, my home is gone..." With that Harry was gently guided out of the alley and to the streets which treated him to his first honest bone deep shock. The cars were all vintage 1940's at best, probably earlier, the passing pedestrians were almost all male and they were dressed in suits sporting fedoras atop their heads.

Harry was struck with the rather random thought of why _had_ wearing fedoras gone out of style? Seriously if Indiana Jones could pull it off being a roguish loner why couldn't everyone else? He was drawn from said random thought when he was escorted to a factory new looking police cruiser that appeared to be around mid 30's vintage. The constable opened the front passenger door and helped Harry into the seat, no lap belts but at this point the Boy-Who-Lived who was currently a cute little girl wasn't surprised.

The constable sat in the drivers seat and started the car up before turning to Harry, "What's your name love?" Harry thought about that, he could go by Harriet since it was so close to his real name but he grimaced at that, horrible name for a girl really. His mum's name was Lily, and while he didn't really consider her family his aunt's name was Petunia, so why not stick with the theme?

"Iris...Black, sir..." Why not? Honor Sirius a bit while keeping his identity secret...not that it mattered. While Hermione would at times, rather irritatingly, belittle his intelligence since he came off as dense thanks to years of psychological abuse courtesy of his 'family' he wasn't a fool. He wasn't in 1998 anymore, he'd place himself somewhere in the mid 1930's, maybe early 40's but that wasn't likely since half the buildings weren't bombed out ruins.

Yay Nazis, you are an effective time marker for displaced time travelers. Go you, you fascist dickheads.

Much to his surprise they didn't go to a police station but rather pulled up to a large gated facility that frankly looked like an insane asylum. Harry, now Iris shot the constable a weary look and he gave her a sad smile in turn.

"Wools ain't the best orphanage I admit, but it's better then the streets isn't it?" Ha-Iris scrunched her nose cutely as she tried to remember where she'd heard that name before.

"I...guess so sir..." The constable cut the engine and being a proper gentleman got out first and opened the door for Iris, taking her hand as she hopped out of the voluminous seat. Letting the man keep hold of her hand she was brought into the musty building and she did her best not to snear at the smell. Say what you will about the woman, Petunia would never have tolerated this excuse for house cleaning.

"Wuz this?" An old woman stated as she approached the pair, eyeing Iris with a disapproving glare, for the first time she took in her own apparel and realized she was dressed in a tatty grey dress. It was covered in so many stitched holes that it would serve better use as a dish rag, ah well, still better fitting then anything she'd inherited from Dudley.

"Found a little girl, parents are dead, no home, figured I'd save everyone a bit of bother by dropping her off directly." The way he said it made her sound like some sort of stray cat which really annoyed her, Harry had enough of that shite beforehand thank you very much.

The hag grimaced and snarled a bit gesturing to the young woman behind her, "Mary, put her with the _boy_ for now while I talk to the officer here." Mary was mousy looking, jumpy, like Ginny was when she'd first met Harry but multiplied times ten, she gripped Iris's shoulder almost painfully and guided her through the halls.

Mary began whispering so quietly the time traveler could barely catch what she was saying, "Now I know she seems strict but she means well-" Iris rolled her eyes at this and fully intended on disproving that notion immediately. Harry had been a pleasant boy, but he also hated bullies, this new time he found himself in...well if he could control his magic, he could have some fun as well.

Regardless, Iris tuned back in "-but just remember to do whatever she says or you'll regret it! Your roommate is...a bit odd, no one rooms with him for more then a week, just...be wary all right?" Brow furrowing at this little revelation Iris was prepared for anything when the door before her was swung open and she gasped audibly when she met the deep blue gaze of the boy standing in the center of the room.

Eyes as cold as glaciers, hair blacker then coal, aristocratic features holding none of the baby fat that many children retained at his age, his very bearing demanding respect.

He turned to Mary and blinked once before speaking, "Is there something wrong?"

Obviously a bit nervous around the boy Mary shooed Iris forward as she replied, "This girl will be staying with you for the time being Tom, all right?"

The boy turned towards Iris eyes narrowed slightly, "All right then, thank you for informing me..." Mary quickly left the room and closed the door leaving Iris to face off against the boy who she had already identified but was hoping beyond hope wasn't who she thought it was.

"I'm Tom, Tom Riddle, and you are?"

Iris, no, Harry, saw red as she rushed forward and much to the boys shock socked him directly in the face sending him sprawling on the floor. Heaving in heavy breathes she approached the fallen boy who partly sat up rubbing his jaw, smirking slightly he turned his appraising eyes to the girl towering above him as she jutted her hand forward.

"I'm Iris Black, lets be friends." Tom's smirk turned into a grin as he accepted the strange girls hand and allowed her to help him off the ground, this would prove to be...interesting...


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm having a lot of fun with the idea of a fem!Harry trying to turn Tom away from genocide (not violence) while also sporting a 'Meh, fuck it' attitude about everything else. I'm considering merging this with chapter one but considering I'm posting this the same day I published I'm going to probably just deal with it. As always, please review!**

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Iris was swinging from a rope tied across a tree limb hanging over a sluggishly bubbling creek, Tom sat below her watching as the redhead somehow managed to hold onto the rotted strands despite hanging upside down as she swayed in the wind. Not that it mattered, his only friend as always was a natural in the air, like she was born for it. Their friendship itself was odd, two months ago she'd punched him in the face as an introduction, now? They were the closest of friends and he couldn't really say why, and honestly he really didn't care either, interesting that.

Eventually the dark haired boy tilted his head to the side and spoke up, "What do you hate most in the world? More then anything?" Iris turned her gaze to him and Tom felt a shiver slide up his spine as her emerald orbs locked onto him, he had no idea why it happened but every time she gave him her complete focus he felt like electricity was jolting across his body. He liked it, a lot.

She began jerking the rope lightly causing herself to swing like a pendulum, eventually she closed her eyes and after she reached a high speed she let go of the rope and landed before him on all fours. Rising to her feet she stared down at her friend a moment as her crimson hair blew in the wind, Tom was more taken by the image then he'd ever care to admit.

"Honestly Tomcat? Bigots, I hate bigots." He cocked his head slightly at that raising a single eyebrow, Iris being who she was caught his questioning sign immediately and gifted him with a giggle and a grin. Something she only ever gave him, and no one else, it made him feel...special.

"Oh don't get all stoic, I hate people who judge other people on how they were born. Skin color, religion, heredity, social class, it makes no sense! You're born how you're born there isn't any reason to hate people for it, sure it's ok to be proud of your heritage but to discriminate against others to make yourself feel better? It's bollocks."

Tom rubbed his chin and fell backwards cradling the back of his head in his hands as he stared into the deep blue sky, watching the sparse clouds slowly move across the endless void. A moment later he was staring into a pair of worried green eyes fixed in a pale face framed by fiery red hair, Iris smiled and kissed the tip of his nose before falling on her back resting her head on his stomach as she shared his view.

"I hate people who look down on me," Tom began, scrunching his brow he sighed lightly to himself as he tried to gather his thoughts, "The Matron thinks I'm a bully but I only hurt those that hurt me. Those that picked on me...I...I hate being seen as weak."

Iris turned her head enough to meet Tom's gaze a single crimson eyebrow rising up across her forehead, "Is it the you hate people viewing you as weak, or that you hate _feeling_ weak Tomcat?" He actually sat there for a solid five minutes as Iris hummed to herself before he responded, and the answer surprised himself.

"I...I hate feeling weak. I guess...I guess in the end it really doesn't matter what others think of me does it? It's my own problem, I'm alone, I've always been alone, and I hate feeling weak. I hate showing weakness to others, because they can take advantage of it." Iris 'Hmm'd' at that a moment before removing her head from his stomach, he lamented the loss a moment before the girl landed firmly at his side snaking her arm under his neck.

He returned the gesture and the two stared up at the sky together, eventually the redhead spoke up, "We'll be weak together, and we'll be strong together, as long as we're side by side no one can ever make you feel inferior. I'll make sure of it." Tom turned his head slightly and shifted his eyes to meet Iris's, as a cloud floated across the sun casting a vast shadow over their little refuge the dark haired boy smiled grimly.

"And I will make sure that no matter what, I shall always remain at your side, and _no one_ will ever think themselves our superior." Smiling Iris snuggled up closer to Tom as she closed her eyes.

Sleepily she replied, "Good, I'd hate for things to get boring." Tom remained silent after that, still staring into the sky. Yes, he and Iris would face off against the world, and _anyone_ who got in their way would pay the price. Eyes narrowing his resolve hardened in an instant, Iris was _his_ and if anyone ever got in between them, well...they'd just have to be dealt with, now wouldn't they?

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Harry had been waiting for it, honestly his life couldn't be simple and while he hadn't miraculously discovered the ability to wandlessly cast a patronus or the like he knew he had magic, just as Tom did. So when the owls came, he resigned himself to the fact that he was once again going to be drawn into the insanity that was Hogwarts...this time as a girl...who was very much being obsessed on by a future Dark Lord.

Really he had no idea what he was thinking when he decided to make himself Tom's confidant, at first he'd just wanted to earn the boys trust after socking him in the face. Which oddly enough, coming from an adorable little girl seemed to greatly amuse and intrigue the boy causing his interest to grow further. And of course, Harry being Harry he had to let out that he could _also_ speak to snakes, and now Tom was all kinds of super possessive over him, or her...or whatever... GAH! This shit was so damn confusing!

What the hell was he thinking about? Right. Owls. Tom and Harry stared down at their letters both of them sporting incredulous looks, Tom due to finding the idea of a magical school existing and deigning it necessary to deliver post via owl to be borderline retarded. Iris in turn was perplexed by the name printed across her still sealed letter, ' _Iris Alya Black_ '. Harry remembered the Black family naming conventions and frankly, this was confusing as all hell.

All members of the Black family, be it extended or even banished, had at least one constellation in their name, Harry had chosen his names on a whim and hadn't bothered with a middle one. It appeared someone else _had_ , which was a really bad thing considering the wax seal on the letter wasn't the Hogwarts standard. It was a raven, with two words written under it, Tom glanced at her shaking hands and grasped his only friends wrists lightly to try and calm her down.

"Iris, what's wrong, why are you acting like this? I know this whole wizarding thing sounds ridiculous but why are you so shaken up, what does that thing say that has you so worried? It looks like latin but I don't know what it means." Turning to her friend, and Harry would admit it at this point, Tom was a friend, Iris shakily replied trying to keep her composure in check.

"Always Pure, the motto of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black, a house I thought I'd never have any part in Tom." There was a cough and the pair turned to meet the gaze of an aristocratic looking man standing before them, his suit, while dated, was immaculate, and his beard and mustache were trimmed close so the dark hairs almost seemed to be shadows.

"Quite, it would seem the family acted a bit...hastily and you weren't a squib after all, it's time to bring you back into the fold, daughter of the Black." Harry eyed the man a moment when he finally put two and two together, he'd only ever seen the mans portrait once, and only remembered it because Sirius had caught it on fire with a molotov cocktail moments after he'd shown it to him.

"Arcturus Black," Iris stated with cold hatred. This man allowed Bellatrix and Narcissa to be sold off into slavery, had disowned Andromeda for having the gall to walk away from tradition for love, and had allowed his entire birthright to fallow due to pride.

"Indeed," he stated as he ran a hand down his beard, "Perhaps I should have a marriage contract written up sooner rather then later, you seem a bit...feisty..." Before he could say anything else Tom's eyes glowed red and he splayed his hands before him sending the man flying into the opposite wall, slipping into parseltongue the boy seethed out his reply.

" _Ssshesss mine fool!"_ Arcturus's wand fell into his hand and with a brief gesture he was freed, pointing it at Tom the boy was encased in ropes in an instant.

"Foolish boy, parselmouth or not you cannot hope to best a the head of the House of Black." Now here was a thing, Harry hated bully's, braggarts, and anyone who decided to treat those weaker then them like toys. Yeah, sure, some day Tom might become Voldemort and try to take over Britain and Harry would have to defeat him. But today? Today he was Iris Black's only friend, and she was angry.

" _KILL HIM!"_ She hissed out in rage as her hands splayed forward, a moment later a dozen snakes exploded into existence charging towards Arcturus, and much to her annoyance the head of the house of Black managed to destroy all the serpents in record time. Feeling winded at the wandless magic she'd just performed Iris leaned against Tom's prone form huffing heavily as sweat ran down her face.

Rather then being angry Arcturus stared down at the pair with an incredulous look, "How in the bloody hell did your mother ever think you were a squib?"

Harry, not caring in the slightest at this point spat out "Because she's a bitch?" Which had Arcturus freeze up a moment. Ironically, Harry had no idea who 'his' mother was, so this was actually kind of funny for him. The head of the house of Black stared down at the two for a few more moments before chuckling and cancelling the charm on Tom.

"She really is," the man said still laughing lightly, taking a glance at Tom and Iris he eventually shrugged to himself, "Two parselmouths and both capable of semi-controlled wandless magic...impressive, most impressive. Come along, we need to hit Diagon Alley before lunchtime, I'd rather avoid the rush."

Tom shot Iris a very confused look and she could only respond with a sheepish shrug, hell even Harry was confused at this point. But...hey, at least he wouldn't be bored any time soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Read, enjoy, and review my friends!**

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Iris didn't like Arcturus, this was made very clear by the complete and utter lack of respect she showed the tall man. Tom noted with a small sense of satisfaction that anyone but _him_ would have missed the signs though, since he was the one who knew Iris better then any. She didn't curtsy, she didn't defer to him, she didn't call him sir, frankly, she treated him like a dangerous, foul smelling creature that she was forced to be locked up with in a small room.

Courteous enough to avoid being offensive, distant enough to show her disgust.

As the man led them through what appeared to be a decaying pub filled with rejects from a Jane Austen novel (Iris's words not his, you'd never catch Tom dead reading one of those books thank you very much) he was finally able to whisper to his friend.

"Iris what is your issue with him?" Her round doe eyes that always held such passion seemed to deaden a bit as she seethed out her reply, which had Tom press his fingernails deeply into his palms causing them to bleed slightly as he processed it.

"He is the head of my 'Family', if you are thought to be a squib, that is born without magic, he is the one who kicks you from the family and leaves you on the streets. He's the reason I have no home."

Tom turned to the man as he tapped a stick against the bricks of the alley wall, as the edifice shifted to move aside the small boys glacier blue eyes slit as they briefly flashed a fiery red. In one moment Arcturus Black became the man he despised most in the entire world as well as becoming someone he was eternally grateful towards.

On one hand, his actions had hurt Iris, which as far as Tom was concerned was grounds for execution. On the other, if he hadn't kicked her from the family, Tom would never had met her, never would have befriended his other half to make himself whole. So Arcturus simply started existing in a state of quasi-loathing that Tom would figure out how to deal with on a later date.

Maybe he'd let Iris kill him? She'd probably like that. Girls liked presents after all.

"Welcome children, to Diagon Alley!" While Arcturus made a grand spectacle at the reveal Iris seemed less then impressed when she took in the magical insanity brought before them. Knowing she was the expert in this situation Tom followed her lead and adapted an aire of bored tedium.

"Brilliant," Iris drawled out in her snarkiest tone that Tom loved so much, it was the one she used on the Matron when the old hag tried to justify there being no meat in their dinner. "Where to first _Grandfather_ , Gringotts or do you have the money on you?" Lord Black stared down at the defiant redhead and sneered a bit which did nothing to shake her stance, in fact she looked more resolved then ever to make his life difficult.

Honestly, Arcturus was secretly pleased with this, no daughter of Black should ever back down from a threat, even her own head of house. Why, _why_ had Cassiopeia insisted this little firebrand was a squib? She had no reason to trust anyone in the house of Black now and to top it off she managed to befriend a mudblood who _happened_ to reveal his parseltongue ability which in the same breath revealed her _own._ That foul woman was getting a howler at the very least.

"Gringotts, dearest, a Lord does not sully himself with carrying his money about like a layman." She rolled her eyes and grabbed the boys hand dragging him along as he muttered a question to her.

"Iris, what's Gringotts?" Her response quite frankly surprised, and amused Lord Black greatly.

"Gringotts is the culmination of proof that the magical world is run by idiots. It is operated by goblins who are short, vicious, traitorous little bastards who rebel against the ministry at the tip of a hat. For some reason, and don't ask me why because I can't tell you, wizarding kind gives their gold to the little shits to protect despite the fact that they hate us.

"It makes no sense, and I never bothered trying to figure out the hows and whys because honestly? I don't think anyone could actually explain it without sounding like they'd been hit in the head with a bludger. Oh, bludgers are enchanted flying iron balls that try to kill you while you play an incredibly stupid game called quiditch, don't worry you'll be exposed to it at Hogwarts, Morgana help you.

"Anyway, they insist the bank is impenetrable but that's not true, it's just painfully dangerous to break into what with the 'Thief's Downfall', dragons, and tens of thousands of midgets armed with battle axes protecting the loot. All told, if I ever get any sum of money worth having, I'm just going to convert it into muggle cash and send it to Munich, stocks and bonds are far more trustworthy then STD infused monsters with a superiority complex."

As her monologue ended Tom had a hard time suppressing his smirk as Arcturus stopped walking to stare down at the girl, after a few moments the man patted her shoulder and sniffed as he wiped away a tear.

"I have no idea why your mother rejected you my dear, but you are most certainly a daughter of Black!" With that he turned and began walking up the white stairs of Gringotts as as the perplexed child and her friend rushed to catch up with him.

As the trio entered the main halls Tom openly gawked at his surroundings while Arcturus presented a visage of bored tedium, Iris was grinning as she stared at the marble floor.

"Hehe...Golden trio one, Gringotts zero," she muttered to herself, confused Tom just shrugged it off as they approached a teller. Much to both his and Lord Black's surprise Iris stepped before both males and glared at the goblin who sneered at her in turn.

Exposing her teeth she leaned forward and met the terrifying creatures eyes as she spat out her request, "I need a bloodline test for my friend here, and I want it now."

The goblin hissed a bit as he tilted his head to the side, "Bloodline tests are fifty galle-" he was cut off as Iris whipped out the shiv she'd made out of the handle of an old spoon and slammed it directly between the goblins splayed fingers.

"You will give us the test, at the standard cost of _nothing_ , or I will fight you for blood right here and now!" Tom was about to panic but before he could do or say anything the goblin broke out into laughter, eventually the creature got a hold of himself shaking his head slowly.

"Oh, oh wow, I haven't had one of you walking roasts amuse me like that in ages, very well, your friend can follow me." Shoving the shiv back up her sleeve and sticking her nose up in the air in an aloof manner Iris spun on her heel as she followed the creature, quickly followed by a perplexed Arcturus Black and a resigned Tom Riddle.

Entering a side room she leaned against the wall as the goblin ushered Tom into a chair sitting before a bowl, a silver knife laying beside it, Iris hummed to herself in a melodic manner before turning her gaze to Arcturus.

"Bet you the heiress title of the house of Black that he is the heir of Slytherin old man." He stared down at the supremely confident girl a moment before shaking his head slowly in turn.

"Very well, girl, but I-"

He was cut off as the Goblin performing the ritual spoke up, "You appear to be a member of the Gaunt family and you are in line to become Lord Slytherin since both your maternal grandfather and uncle have failed the tests required to take said title for themselves."

As Arcturus blankly stared at the confused boy, Iris broke into a fit of giggles that had her landing on the floor as she held her sides unable to restrain her mirth.

Harry didn't care why he was here at this point, this was just too much fun to ever pass up.


	4. Chapter 4

The trio sat in a mine cart taking them down the rickety rail ride from hell towards the vault needed to test Tom's claim to the Slytherin title in abject silence. Harry glanced to Arcturus and couldn't help but reflect on how much he honestly, truly _hated_ the Black family. Now that might sound unfair, but Harry had this bastards actions broken down for him by his godfather when the half insane escapee from Azkaban kidnapped him the summer after his third year.

Bellatrix Black had been a vivacious, rebellious, fun loving, dope smoking, rock show going teen of the sixties and damnit all if Harry hadn't found her hot as hell in the old pictures Sirius had shown him.

No woman should look that good in a Led Zeppelin t-shirt and cut off shorts. Not. A. One.

Regardless, she was arranged to the be married to the LeStranges, and tried to run, so old Arcturus had blood bound her to a marriage contract. When the LeStrange boys decided they wanted to test the goods against her will...well...barren, batshit insane Voldemort fangirl was the end result of the chastity seals being broken. Good job Artie!

Narcissa Black had been a quiet socialite that enjoyed writing poetry, singing ballads, and summoning demons. She had been brilliant, could have possibly revolutionized the wizarding worlds outlooks on all forms of summonings, she could have been anything she put her mind to! So she was sold to the Malfoys for ten thousand galleons and a summer home in Venezuela.

Rather ironically it was only due to the Dark Marks strain on Lucius's magic that allowed her to briefly regain a few fragments of her original personality, usually these moments were spent crying over what the idiot had turned their son into.

When the family tried to arrange an alliance with the Notts with their middle daughter, Andromeda Black burnt her parents home down with Fiendfyre. The land was eternally cursed with " _Fucking Try Me"_ flickering in violet flames across the front garden.

Harry rather liked Andromeda, he knew where Tonks got her spunk for sure.

Then of course there was Regulus, basically raised to be Voldemort's version of the Hitler youth thanks to his mother and only gaining a clue just in time to get murdered for his heel face turn.

Speaking of that thrice times cursed bitch Walburga, Sirius, and in turn his Uncle Alphard were both banished from the family as well thanks to her. The former for not wanting a madman to burn a slave brand to his soul, the latter for leaving his favored nephew an inheritance due to everyone else abandoning him..Ugh...Harry's head hurt.

He almost, _almost_ hoped the head of the house of Black was truly stupid enough to try and pull a marriage contract out on Iris. It'd be...an amusing turn of events.

Turning once again to Arcturus Iris let an absolutely feral grin crawl across her face causing the man to shiver at it's coldness as he met her gaze. Yup, this man was going to get Marauder'd like nothing else by Iris until her nieces were born. Then, she was going to be the brilliant, awesome, super fun aunt who taught them all the best pranks and arson related spells. Then, when he finally feels safe as they all go to Hogwarts? *BAM* Sirius and Regulus.

Iris began happily humming the Mission Impossible theme to herself, much to Tom and Arcturus's confusion. Their goblin guide, oddly enough, hummed along with her not missing a beat, maybe they weren't so bad after all.

* * *

As the car finally came to a halt Tom turned to Iris looking slightly worse for wear, "That...was unpleasant..." Iris shrugged as she hopped past him and offered her hand across the short gap between the car and solid ground.

"Remember what I said when we got here Tomcat, nothing makes sense." Nodding in understanding he filed in after the rest as they followed their goblin guide to their destination.

Letting out a rasping cough the creature gestured towards the massive metal edifice, "Vault 17, if you can pass its riddle you gain the distinction of 'Heir of Slytherin', and once you reach your age of majority may claim the title 'Lord Slytherin'.

Iris took in the vault door before her and...well much like many things Salazar Slytherin had a hand in, it was ostentatious. The massive silvered disk was covered in elaborate runes and its entire border dotted with interlocking jade serpents that seemed to wriggle in the flickering torch light. Tom's brow furrowed as he looked at his birthright seeming rather...unimpressed, eventually he cocked his head turning to his only friend in question.

"Any idea's Iris or should I just start talking to one of the snakes?"

Thinking a moment the redhead shrugged and nodded, "Try talking to one, couldn't hurt now could it?"

Trusting Iris implicitly Tom turned back to the door and as he stopped before it began speaking in parseltongue, eventually one of the jade snakes slithered across the door and faced off against the boy.

" _If you wisssh to enter the vault of the Mossst Ancient and Noble Houssse of Ssslytherin you mussst passss a tessst of cunning."_

Blinking at this rather new presentation Tom quickly replied with, " _Err...Ok then?"_

The snake nodded " _It isss a sssimple logic game, for sssome reassson the passt 427 attemptsss have been...lesss then impresssive, now are you prepared?"_

Meeting Iris's eyes who just shrugged in return he eventually nodded to the snake, " _Very well, you and your companion are arresssted for a crime you did not commit, you are told if you both keep quiet your sssentance will be three years in Azkaban, if you accussse her of the crime your sssentence will be reduced to one year and hersss to five. Ssshe is given the sssame offer, do you trussst her to keep quiet or do you accussse her to ensssure your freedom."_

Tom's eyes narrowed dangerously at this, he would _never_ betray his only friend, and it was stupid anyway! This situation would never happen to either of them!

Rubbing his temples in frustration Tom finally responded, " _I cannot give a proper resssponsse becaussse I don't agree with the quessstion! Irisss and I would never get caught committing our own crimesss, much lesss taking blame for sssomeone elsssesss!"_

The snake hissed in amusement at that, _"That of courssse is the right anssswer young Heir of Ssslytherin, for they are the very wordsss of our house are they not? Don't. Get. Caught."_

With a heavy clunk the door swung open, and the three of them took in the grandeur of the ancient vault in silent shock, centuries of untouched wealth glittering in the torchlight.

"Is...is this all mine?" Tom asked in open surprise, grinning Iris patted his shoulder lightly while replying in kind.

"Yup Tomcat, this is all yours, and no one else's."

At that Arcturus finally spoke up even if it was a mutter, "Maybe I should bring up that marriage contract ag-GAH!" The man brought his hand up and stared in open horror at the crude homemade knife sticking through his palm, hearing an *ahem* he turned back to the redheaded girl before him.

Curling her fingers back towards herself she stuck her hand out to the head of the house of Black, "Give Stabby back, he's mine."

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 **Hurt my hand at work again, it took way too long to type this especially since I borrowed the prisoners dilemma from one of my other fics. OH well, please review even though I know it's not as funny as the other chapters**


	5. Chapter 5

**Insomnia sucks, please review**

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Arcturus pulled the knife from his palm and dropped it into Iris's waiting hand as he began swearing to himself wrapping the wound in a handkerchief which was immediately followed with fumbling for his wand. Iris stared down at the blade as a dark smile crossed her face causing Tom to cock an eyebrow, that had been an act.

Iris didn't name her shivs and knives, to her they were only tools, she was hiding something, and while curious Tom was also discrete so he said nothing as his friend quickly approached him and whispered a breathy question in his ear. The closeness did _not_ make him shiver, thank you very much.

"Tom, I need to borrow a bit of money, is that all right?"

He didn't hesitate a second, "Of course Iris, use what you need."

Her full lips turned up into a loving smile as she pecked his cheek with a kiss causing him to blush deeply as she turned to address their goblin guide, who was currently staring at the girl appraisingly. "Goblin," she began without preamble, "I have no time for negotiations, how much for a semi-permanent stasis charm and a secure lock box?"

The goblin continued staring a moment before responding, "Ten galleons."

Iris nodded quickly as she replied, "Make it fifteen and no one besides Tom and myself ever finds out about this, savvy?"

The goblin turned his gaze to the blood stained blade and smirked, "Savvy, little carnivore." Waving his hand the blade glowed a deep blue and suddenly a heavy steel box formed around it, landing silently between her fingers.

Passing it to Tom she quickly whispered, "Hide this some place and don't tell me where you put it! Please Tom, be swift!"

Nodding in confusion he did just that, as the goblin escorted him to the far wall Tom placed the box on a shelf while scooping several galleons into his pockets. Turning to his guide he finally let his curiosity get the better of him.

"Goblin, what was that all about?" The creature shrugged which only caused the young boy to roll his eyes in return. No wonder Iris hated dealing with the beasts, really. Dropping a few gold coins in the monsters hand it eventually sneered whilst shrugging lightly once again.

"A blade soaked in the blood of your enemy freely returned by said enemy has many uses, what she plans on doing with it is her own business. Although the fact that she is a...carnivore, very much narrows what she intends to do to him if he crosses her again. It shall be amusing, young wizard, to see the drama unfold." Nodding Tom followed the goblin back to Iris and Arcturus as their argument became more..vocal.

"I don't _care_ if stabbing people for annoying me is considered uncouth, it's almost like I've been living on the street for Christ knows how long and nothing really registers anymore!"

Arcturus seethed down at the girl trying his best not to yell, "I already apologized for listening to your mother's demands, what else do you wish from me?! Really, is _stabbing_ people that offend you truly your default after only a year alone?"

Iris's hair took on the sheen of freshly spilled blood as raw magic spread across her body, Tom calmly reflected on it being the most beautiful shade of red he'd ever seen as his better half leered at the Lord of Black.

"I'm sorry _my lord_ , every time you talk all I hear is 'Please stab me Iris! I deserve it for being a complete prat!', I think it's an inner ear thing." Staring each other down Lord Black eventually turned away returning to the waiting car. Iris snorted while rolling her eyes taking Tom's hand in her's as she followed.

As the vault behind them closed Tom reflected on what had transpired this day after the journey to the Black Vault led to another argument between Iris and Arcturus. As the red haired girl pulled a halberd from a pile of coins whilst the Lord twirled his wand he watched the pair seethe at each other with honest interest. Eventually Arcturus lowered his wand and Iris tossed her pole-arm aside not really caring where it fell.

So interesting.

The pair returned to the car a few moments later, Iris carrying a bag of coins and Lord Black clutching a box to his chest, then they rode back up.

Tom really didn't remember most of their journey afterwards, the rush through the bank, buying their robes and school books, as well as their potion ingredients. It was their wands that he focused on, his best, only friend had a beaming smile gracing her lips as she stared at the ancient building in anticipation.

"Hey Tomcat," she began, still grinning, "Bet you I have a holly wand, eleven inches long, phoenix feather core, and it will be the sibling to your own wand." Tom smiled in turn as he took Iris's hand in his own hiding his satisfaction as the girl's cheeks reddened lightly at the gesture.

"And what will mine be Little Flower?"

Blushing scarlet now she turned her face away from him as she replied, "Yew, thirteen and half inches, and it will have the sibling core to my wand, a phoenix feather given by the same bird at the same time."

Tom beamed at that as the walked into the building, "So no matter what we were always destined to be together?" Iris stared at him a few dark moments as tears gathered in the corners of her eyes, eventually she pecked his cheek once again and sniffled to herself before replying.

"I will never leave you alone Tomcat, for good or bad, I'll make sure you're never alone. You'll always be loved." Tom didn't understand why his only friend was crying, it was likely a girl thing, but in the end it didn't matter really.

He was there for Iris, Iris was there for him, and nothing else mattered regardless. And...and if anyone tried to take Iris from Tom...well...he'd have to teach them a lesson, now wouldn't he?


	6. Meet the Family

**So! Not a funny chapter, well there is some funny but not much, this is a bridging chapter building up what Iris is going to have to deal with in the background when Hogwarts starts. And before anyone bitches about it no, she isn't going to suddenly become all "For the House of Black!" because as Harry has stated, he really hates these people with a few exceptions.**

 **Anyway, enjoy, please ignore any typos since I'll fix them later, and review! Enjoy your weekend! ^_^**

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Ollivander stared Iris down, Iris stared Ollivander down, and Tom just watched standing beside Lord Black, neither willing to make a move as the two enigmatic characters eyed each other. Eventually the old man broke his gaze from the girl and huffed as he rushed behind the counter while muttering to himself.

What followed was an hour long waste of time.

In the end, Iris was proven correct and they were blessed with wands that _sang_ together when they were both held, the small girl only smirking at Tom's look of euphoric awe as golden sparks flew from his yew wands tip. Her own holly wand reacted in the same manner while poor Arcturus and Ollivander only looked dumbstruck at the two youngsters acquiring brother wands.

She didn't say anything, but Tom could easily tell his only friend was doing her best not to break out into laughter at their elders response. Arcturus then led the pair to the bookstore and let Iris drag Tom off, she'd been to Diagon Alley before and frankly maybe a miracle would occur, like someone kidnapping the brats.

Taking a deep breath he cast his patronus and stared at the proud Great Dane a few moments before sending his message, as the silver hound lept to deliver its tidings the young man rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration.

The girl was out of control, but there was no _controlling_ her, not really. The normal threats of marriage contracts did nothing but end in violence on her part, and he did _not_ glance down at his still tender hand at this thought thank you. To add to his troubles she had no respect for family and tradition and held little to no respect for his authority.

Why should she, really?

Hell, Arcturus was enough of a realist to acknowledge that even he would not be willingly brought back into the fold if he had been cast out and abandoned. He grimaced at that, was she even still pure? Did she have to sell her fragile young body to some sick bastard to survive? Or was her virtue stolen against her will?

He let out an amused snort at that thought. No, the girl was as Black in blood as could be, anyone foolish enough to try and force themselves on her were likely quite dead, and he really didn't put it past her to steal to survive rather then degrade herself. Pushing that concern away he glanced down at the small box he'd withdrawn from Gringotts, it may be the only way to bring her to heel, if only for a time.

A few blessedly quiet minutes later his all too short respite ended with the arrival of the children, "Hello _Lord_ we're back." Opening his eyes he took in the pair of children holding hands before him, neither seemed to be carrying any bags which could only mean they had their supplies shrunk for the duration.

"So you are, are you ready to go home?"

Iris and Tom tilted their heads towards each other and let out a few barely audible hisses only they could understand that managed to send a shudder down the powerful wizards spine. Say what you will about the Dark talent being a blessing, it was damn creepy to hear someone conversing in it.

Eventually the children focused their attention back on him as Iris finally responded, "It really depends what _home_ is _Grandfather_ , are you returning us to the orphanage?" He snorted at that, yes he was going to just ditch two incredibly powerful, intelligent, and belligerent magicals back with the poverty stricken muggles. That would end well.

"No, you're coming back with me to Black Manor, I've called for a family meeting to decide what to do with you two," to his surprise while Tom's eyes flashed red Iris's shifted from emerald to shining violet upon hearing this. Her Black blood was truly beginning to assert itself he mused.

"Are you adopting me then sir?" Tom asked with a bit of trepidation, ah, finally a modicum of respect, it only took all afternoon.

"Not myself, but perhaps one of the cousins will."

Iris snorted at that as she rolled her eyes, "Tom you're the Heir of Slytherin, a parselmouth, and quite possibly the only thing keeping me from burning their house down for my own amusement. Trust me, the House of Black will make sure you're cared for if they say they will."

Arcturus was actually quite surprised by that endorsement before his thoughts were interrupted by the girls sneering rejoinder. "Now that doesn't mean they won't discard you if they think you've lost your usefulness, but hey, free room and board for the time being."

Ah, there was the other shoe dropping, the girl really was as cynically snarky as Dorea, which could be a good thing if his plans worked out. Glancing at the box in his hands Arcturus could only sigh as he motioned the children to follow him to the Leaky Cauldron.

"We're taking the Floo, hopefully the family has gathered by the time we arrive."

Iris worried her lip a moment before speaking, "My mother?" Arcturus closed his eyes and hissed out a breath between his clenched teeth resisting the urge hex a group of mudbloods off to his right. No violent releases right now, she had a right to ask despite how maddening she'd been the entire day.

"No, Cassiopeia has effectively fallen off the map since she convinced me to kick you from the family, with your father's death four years ago freeing her and you being 'dead' she hit the continent and didn't look back." Sighing he pinched the bridge of his nose as he muttered, "Probably drunk in a bordello somewhere, ugh."

Tom quietly spoke up at this, "That's good right? You won't have to see her?" Iris sniffed a moment, and she did not have tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, thanks much.

Squeezing Tom's hand she smiled at her friend nodding once, "Yeah Tomcat, that's good, I won't be compelled to stab her on sight now."

Arcturus groaned at that, "Must you stab people at _all_ child?"

Her melancholy was soon replaced with a predatory grin, "Depends how stabbable people comport themselves in my presence _grandfather."_

As they entered the pub Arcturus let out a tired sigh as he replied, "Child why do you insist on calling me grandfather we're third cousins for Merlin's sake!"

She shrugged, "Does it annoy you?"

"YES!" He stated a bit incensed, she only smiled in turn.

"There you go."

* * *

After arriving at the Black Manor Iris was quite surprised that it was nothing like 12 Grimmauld Place, as in it actually looked like a manor rather than the Addams Families mansion. Soon Arcturus had led them to his office and left them there as he went to meet with the family. He'd at least called for a house elf to bring them tea and snacks, and being underfed orphans the two friends dug in without question, you never turned down a free meal, you didn't know when the next is to come.

After eating her fill Iris hopped down from the davenport she'd been sitting on and wandered over to the expensive looking antique desk, she snorted upon seeing the torn open envelope laying in the center. Tom wandered over an inquisitive brow rising just enough to catch her attention, she smiled at him and picked up the discarded bit of parchment showing it to the young boy.

"Black family tradition, your Hogwarts acceptance letters are always routed to the head of house before being re-sent out to the children, takes a bit of the mystique out of it but more then a few Pure-Blood heirs were killed with cursed letters."

Tom's brows furrowed at that, "Is the magical world really that scary?" Iris let out a 'hmm' noise as she turned to take in the enormous family tapestry hanging on the wall, time to get some answers, like who the hell was she?

"Yes and no, the muggle world isn't all that safe itself, it's just with magic everyone is handed a weapon at the age of eleven and they get into the mindset that almost anything can be reversed with the right counter spell. So, wizards tend to get creative in their methods of murdering people."

It took her time to find her 'Mother', but she eventually did, 'Cassiopeia Black nee Black, wife of Asterion Black, deceased,' they were second cousins. Harry could only groan at that, bloody fucking hell he was inbred, or rather she was...oh bugger it all he'd just self identify as female for now this was just getting stupid!

Tom had no idea that his friend was going mildly insane as she was staring at the tapestry so instead pointed at her 'father', "You look a lot like him, the red hair and eyes that is." He tilted his head to the side a moment as he continued to examine her family tree, "You have your mum's cheekbones though."

For reasons she couldn't even begin to comprehend she broke out into a fit of giggles at this, Tom just smiled in turn, happy he could make his only friend laugh. Eventually the pair sat back down and Iris's head fell to Tom's shoulder, "Napping now, wake me when they're ready for us," Tom rolled his eyes dropping his head gently atop hers. It had been a long day, sleep sounded good.

* * *

"So let me get this straight," Callidora Longbottom nee Black began, "Cassiopeia's little girl, who we all adored and were quite against having her kicked from the family until we saw if she received her letter or not is actually a witch, not a squib. To top it off she is powerful enough to have wandless control of her magic, is a _parselmouth_ , befriended the _Heir of Bloody Slytherin_ and shares brother wands with said heir? Oh and he seems to take all his queues from her and she has done nothing but mock, belittle, and otherwise disrespect you because as far as she's concerned, she's no longer a Black?"

Arcturus sighed as he sank into the high backed chair rubbing his temples as the young woman lit into him, politely of course, no Lady of Black would comport themselves otherwise. Except for Iris, because as Callidora so bluntly put it, the girl had no reason to think she'd still be considered a Black, so why bother going through the motions. Such a young cynic.

"Yes, that is about it dear," the brunette huffed as she shook her head in exasperation as Sirius II leaned back into his chair twirling his gunmetal grey mustache, he took a sip of tea before clearing his throat to gain the rooms attention.

"Well Lord Black I for one am all for bringing her back into the fold, but she seems rather...wild, would binding her to a marriage contract perhaps take some of the fire out of her?" All the women at the wide table seemed to glare at him at once, but he didn't let this phase him, well, physically, internally he was trying his best not to piss himself.

To the surprise of everyone Arcturus broke out into hysterical laughter, after he regained control of himself he gave the family the unvarnished version of what happened in Gringotts, most looked aghast, young Dorea rather broke out laughing.

"Oh, oh Merlin! Sh- she-BWaHAH! Sh-she even demanded the knife back?! Oh that is just too perfect!" Several of the other ladies were also smiling at this all feeling a bit proud of the young girl, she may be a bit rough around the edges but she was treating threats as a Lady of Black should. Namely, with violence.

"Yes...I...oh bloody hell..." Arcturus's eyes widened as the days events finally took hold, "I returned the blood soaked weapon to the one who injured me willingly..." All the gathered Blacks stiffened at this, Cygnus II sighed as he ran his hands through his long graying hair before he turned back to their head of house.

Gathering his thoughts a moment he eventually spoke, "Well, it would seem she has leverage over you regardless of your decisions today, how do you suggest we handle this?" Arcturus, now more shaken then before placed the wooden box on the table and tapped it gently as he tried his best to remain visibly stoic, it worked, to an extent anyway.

"There is only one method I can think of that can keep her leashed, for the time anyway. She went from being inconsequential to a political asset in a matter of moments, she is articulate, intelligent, cynical, and has all the makings of a proper Dark Witch on top of being a parselmouth. Bringing her in under the conditions I have devised will also draw her friend in who is also a political asset himself, as the Heir of Slytherin he has seats on the Wizengamot, the Hogwarts education board, and not to mention untold wealth."

He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath before continuing, "So I shall present my solution and we will put it to a family vote."

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Iris was startled awake by a popping noise, and it was only due to Tom being sprawled unceramoniously across her lap that she did not throw a knife at the poor house elf standing before her, muscle memory and lightning fast reflexes do have their drawbacks.

"Master Arcturus be seeing yous now Misses Iris ma'am." She looked at the bedraggled little creature a moment and gave her a soft smile as she shook Tom awake, grumbling he sat up giving her the freedom to hop to the ground causing the elf to flinch back.

Slowly approaching the servant Iris took a knee and met the elf's too wide eyes, "What is your name?"

"Ni-Nippy Misses Iris ma'am," smiling Iris slowly reached out with one hand and grasped Nippy's shoulder gently.

"Thank you very much for letting me know Nippy, you are a wonderful house elf and I wanted to also thank you for the tea and scones earlier, they were delicious." Nippy's eyes widened more which Iris would admit was bloody terrifying before the elf began wailing and crying pulling Iris into a tight hug.

"Oh Little Misses be thanksing Nippy! No ones evers thanked Nippy before!" Bittersweet memories of Dobby rushed through her mind but she shoved that away for another time as she gently pried the elf's arms from around her.

"Shh-shh-shh, it's ok Nippy, you deserve to be thanked for your hard work, now can you lead us to Lord Black?" Nodding her head excitedly the elf rushed ahead of them opening the door, Tom glanced over to Iris looking perplexed as he spoke in parseltongue.

" _What wasss that all about Irisss?"_ Whenever he said her name in the language of serpents it made Iris shudder, she had no idea if it was in a good way or a bad way honestly.

" _Tom, elvesss are a ssslave race taken advantage of by the Pure-Bloodsss and completely ignored by all. They have magic that can bypasss anything wizardsss can come up with but the entire magical world is so bigoted they don't even realize they're a threat. Today, I made usss an ally."_

Tom's eyes widened at that as he shot her a cold smile, " _You sssneeaky little minx,_ " Iris blushed heavily at that as she grabbed Tom's hand and dragged him onward to follow the excitable little elf.

"Quiet you," Tom only grinned at her flushed visage as the elf pushed open a huge set of oak doors and the children came to a harsh hault seeing the two dozen adults sitting at a large table just...staring at them.

"Ah, Iris...Tom, welcome, we've come to a decision in regards of what to do about your rather...unique situation," Arcturus began without preamble. Tom was suddenly very glad his friend had that knife hidden in his vault as the young Lord slid a wooden box forward. It was passed between several family members before a young woman, a teenager really, took it and stood approaching the pair.

The woman grinned down at Iris as she fell to her knees and pulled the redhead into a tight hug, "Oh it is so good to see you Little Flower! I've missed you so much! I've got great news, I have to go over it with Charlus but I'm sure he'll be fine with it since you and your friend would only be staying with us a few months out of the year. The family has decided to adopt both you and Tom into the fold, and I'd be your caretaker."

Tom was lost beyond words but Iris's eyes were wide as she stared at the woman before her, "D-Dorea?!"

The woman grinned at that, "Hello there little cousin! Would you be willing to consider it?" Even Tom who didn't know any of these people could hear the doubt in the woman's voice but Iris only whimpered a moment before nodding, this tender moment was of course ruined by Arcturus.

"Excellent, and you boy?" Tom turned his gaze to Arcturus and all those sneering at him reeled back a bit as his eyes glowed ruby red.

"I go where Iris goes," he stated flatly, Arcturus cleared his throat at that before nodding and motioning to the now crying girl being held by her cousin.

"Very well, Iris Alya Black, I do so reinstate you into the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black, and offer protection and formal adoption of Tom Marvolo Riddle in the care of Dorea Elara Potter nee Black, under one condition."

Iris stiffened at that and once again the room was a bit off set as her green eyes shifted to glowing amethyst, "And what would that be, _Grandfather."_

Smiling congenially he motioned to Dorea who opened the wood box, inside it sat a intricate gold ring with a large black stone in it's center, a faint relief of a raven in flight glowing from under the surface.

"Simply put dear cousin, you accept the position, responsibility, and _dangers_ of being the Heiress of the House of Black." Tom shot Iris a worrying look but she wasn't facing him, nor the ring, she was staring at Dorea.

Iris was Harry at the moment, and he'd just been offered the one thing he'd wanted more then anything else his entire life. Family. All he had to do to live with his grandparents, to grow up with the Potters, to eventually meet his own father and watch him grow and thrive and eventually fall in love with Lily Evans, was accept making himself a target. To consign himself to being bound to a house he despised, and as he stared into Dorea's loving hazel eyes Iris made her decision.

She snatched up the ring and jammed it on her right hand, there was a flash of light as the ring re-sized itself feeling a heady rush roil through her body.

Shaking her head she turned to Arcturus and sneered at him, "Well, it looks like I'm back in the mad ho-AHHHHHHHH!" Pain like nothing Harry had ever felt burnt through his mind as something snapped, an information overload overtook his senses as he fell to the ground still screaming. Poor Tom was rushing to her side as Dorea did her best to keep Iris from hurting herself and as the world began to fade to black, Harry remembered.

He remember the life of a beautiful little girl, who was abandoned by her family for being a squib, who fought tooth and nail to survive on the streets, and who had died from starvation moments before Harry had taken control.

He remembered the life and death of Iris Alya Black, and as he passed out from the pain he swore someone was going to pay for what had been allowed to happen to that poor, departed girl.

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 **So just throwing this out there, that might have been a _bad_ idea on Arcturus's part.**


	7. Finally Accepting Who You Are

**So next chapter is going to be very Tom-centric as the Potters teach him the ins and outs of operating in Pure-Blood circles while Iris gets used to having family that actually cares about her. This is unfortunately a bridging chapter, it needed to be written but not much honestly happens and for that I apologize, I promise next one will be longer and funnier. As always, please enjoy and if you have a few moments drop a review!**

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Harry was immediately made wary by the fact he was not in pain, not feeling any sort of ache, be it stomach pangs due to near starvation, or the twinge of old scars courtesy of Vernon's belt let him know he very well might be dead for real this time. His brief stint as Iris Black hadn't changed this mindset in the slightest, the shit she had endured was surreal and nothing a child should ever have to experience. With that thought he snapped his eyes open and found himself staring down at an adorable little girl.

"Hello Harry, it's nice to finally meet you in person," the child stated as she gave him a brief curtsy, her dark satin dress absorbing all the surrounding light as its ebony weave shifting between alien shades of black.

Bowing lightly in return Harry belatedly realized he was wearing an equally dark set of dress robes as he nodded to the girl, "A pleasure, Iris." Giggling she grabbed his hand and soon the girl was dragging him forward as she gestured towards the shattered fragments of thought drifting around them.

"Neat, isn't it? Not the memories themselves obviously but rather the display. Both our lives were horrid so they shouldn't be gawked at, still the presentation is ever so well done." They both took in the various moments of abuse they'd suffered through as memories drifted by, eventually she spoke again, "I really can't figure out who had the nastier childhood no matter how much I think on it.

"On one hand, while I was cared for and trained in the arts of blade and politics I was always aware that...that I would likely be cast out if I could not perform magic. When that came to pass, well...the streets are not a kind place for children..."

Harry released her hand and wrapped his arm around the little girls shoulders pulling her to his side as he replied, "On the other hand you have me. A boy who was ritually abused, starved, and belittled to the point that he blindly accepted the wizarding world despite how...idiotic it really is simply because it wasn't Privet Drive."

She nodded at this and after a moment Harry continued, "Honestly I think you had it worse then me, you had your mother giving you a perverse _hope_ that you would be accepted if you could just perform magic. Something you had no control over no matter how hard you tried, and her disappointment and hate burned you deeply. Me?" He scoffed lightly, "The Dursleys never hid the fact they hated me, it was almost a reassurance really, knowing that no matter what I did I'd never be good enough for them. So why bother trying, taking Sirius's training to heart helped in that I admit."

She nodded sadly at this, "True, I do have to say I really love your sense of humour, the way you've been torturing poor cousin Arcturus today has been most amusing, though you may wish to tone it down a bit. A touch of Black madness is perfectly acceptable in a Lady of Black, encouraged even, unfortunately you're bordering on being obnoxious at the moment."

He sheepishly scratched the back of his head with his free hand as he laughed nervously. "Yeeeah I may have been playing the part of Hamlet a bit too thoroughly but in my defense up until I put that damn ring on I really was just playing it all by ear."

She nodded in understanding, "Death works in mysterious ways, when He asked me if I was willing to allow you to take my place at my passing I admit I was initially hesitant to agree. I wanted my failure to live up to my families expectations to die with me, but...but He was rather persuasive. After I agreed He warned that my knowledge would pass on with me, you lost your body, and gained mine, I gained your knowledge, yet retained my own despite existing only in the ether. Equivalent Exchange He called it," with that she let out a sad sigh as she stopped before a rather prominent memory shard.

"The point of the entire exercise was if you were ever reconnected with the Family Magic, or, rather, connected for the first time since I was a squib, you'd regain what was lost and I'd fully move on. If I agreed that you could finish what I could not that is."

Staring at the memory of Harry in Iris's body promising to always be at Tom's side, she eventually turned her gaze to the hate filled visages of Voldemort and Harry as they killed each other. Sighing she leaned against the young man as she played with his flowing sleeve a moment before continuing.

"I want to move on, I think you can change everything, the family, the Blood War, the needless deaths...I honestly think you can do it." Looking up her round emerald eyes met Harry's equally intense gaze, "Give them Hell Potter."

With that she pulled him down to her level and kissed his brow, as she faded away a final warning drifted past Harry's ears, "There will always be someone to fill the vacuum left by a fallen Dark Lord, do not rest on your Laurels, Heiress Black..."

As Iris came to, and yes, Harry had finally come to terms with it he was Iris and this would most certainly help with his constant identity issues, she felt a pair of warm presences hovering over her.

"Is she ok?" A clearly worried Tom asked, Dorea made a tsking noise as her voice shifted, ostensibly due to her turning to face the gathered family.

"Yes dear, we all rather foolishly forgot that she'd had her connection to the family magic severed. Lord Black routing her letter to her as Iris Black rather then Iris No-Name kick started the reconnection, taking the ring had it happen all at once rather then gradually as it should have been done. Hindsight and all that."

"Family magic?" Tom parroted honestly confused, Iris felt thin delicate fingers run through her hair as Dorea responded in a quieter tone then before.

"Yes dear, surely you noticed her behaving differently then normal today?"

Tom gasped at that, "Is that why she's been acting so strange? And why her eyes keep shifting to purple when she gets annoyed? And her hair looking like it's soaked in blood?"

Dorea hummed at that as she continued to stroke her fingers through Iris's hair, "Yes, _The Black Madness_ some call it, more correct then not honestly. It's usually rather intense the first time it connects, or in her case reconnects."

"So that's why Lord Black tolerated her behavior then," Tom stated sounding slightly relieved that his only friend wasn't in any trouble.

There was a 'Harrumph' noise from the other side of the room as said man grumbled out a reply, "I wouldn't say tolerated boy, more along the lines of putting the punishment off till a later date."

With that Iris sat up startling everyone as her eyes snapped open and her violet gaze locked onto Arcturus's wide silver eyes.

"Funny, that inner ear thing is acting up again..." While most of the gathered family looked at her in confusion, Arcturus visibly swallowed as he averted his gaze. Grinning wolfishly Iris shakily stood up as Dorea and Tom took a hand each, both looking at her in worry.

"How are you feeling dear? Nauseous? Vision blurring? Do you have an unexplainable yet oddly comforting desire to take over the world?"

Processing Dorea's rapid fire questions Iris shook her head quickly then paused nodding in confusion, "No, no, and...yes? Huh...that's new..."

Dorea grinned happily at that as she turned back to the seated family members, "The family magic connected fully I believe. I'll have to do more in depth scans when I get them home."

Arcturus sighed as he made a shooing motion with his hand, "Very well take them back to Potter Manor, I'm sure Charlus will be disgustingly enthusiastic about having the brats about regardless. Why you couldn't just accept that contract with the Averys is beyond me."

Iris and Tom both glanced up to Dorea to see how she reacted to this, her grim smile would have made an ice elemental shiver, "Are you suggesting that I made a poor choice in partner " _Widdle Arty Poo?_ " Iris felt her _soul_ twitch as Harry's grandmother sing songed Bellatrix's creepy baby talk towards Lord Black, who for his part seemed deeply unsettled by it.

"N-no cousin, not at all. Why don't you move along now, the children are probably quite worn out after the days events." Tom shot Iris a look and quickly rolled his eyes causing her to have to stifle a giggle, Dorea simply nodded and took the kids hands guiding them out of the room.

As they approached a wide fireplace filled with merrily crackling flames Tom could no longer keep in his questions, "Mrs Potter...Lady Potter? Err...I'm sorry I don't know how to properly address you but, what was with that voice you used back there? Why did it make Lord Black...err..."

"Dorea dear," she laughed out in honest amusement as she grabbed the dish of floo powder off the mantle. "And that was the voice my mother use to use on Lord Black whenever she caught him misbehaving...and when she tortured muggles that looked at her in a way she didn't find particularly pleasant." She paused and stared down at the wide eyed children smiling sadly, "The Black family didn't take up that name because we thought the color was rather fetching little ones. Those are lessons for another day, now Tom take a pinch of this, throw it in the fire and clearly state 'Potter Manor' then walk into the flames once they turn green."

He nodded at that as he took some of the powder in hand, "Thank you but Iris already explained it to me before we arrived here." With that he tossed the powder into the fire while saying "Potter Manor!" With that he entered the flames and disappeared.

Handing the dish to Iris Dorea held it just out of the girls reach taking in the small redheads muddied eyes, caught somewhere between the violet induced by the family magic and their natural emerald.

Shifting nervously Iris eventually spoke up, "Umm... is there something wrong cousin?"

Sighing while giving her a wane smile Dorea tilted the dish forward allowed Iris to take a pinch in hand, "You do realize that boy has bound himself to you dearest, do you not? It isn't magic, it's in the mind, he see's you as his and he'll never let anyone take you from him. Are you prepared to deal with that? To deal with were the Dark drags you?"

With that Iris smirked as she tossed the powder into the fire, "I'm the Heiress Black now, it's fitting that I dwell in the Dark places now, is it not? Besides which, it won't be boring now will it? Potter Manor," with that she stepped through the flames leaving Dorea alone.

Sighing wistfully she repeated the process herself while shaking her head ruefully, "Oh this summer is shaping up to be _quite_ amusing."

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 **Sorry folks, this is where my hand began acting up again, its...something at least, right? Anyway please review!**


	8. In the Nights Dark Echoes

**So finally got over the writers block for this one, just an interlude but I'm finally moving on and Tom is certainly taking hold of his own destiny.**

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Settling in at Potter Manor had actually entailed far less pomp than Tom had initially expected it to, in fact it was almost a monumental let down compared to how the days earlier events had unfolded.

After being given dinner, a hearty soup and a tasty loaf of dark bread accompanied with a lightly sweetened tea, Tom had been escorted to a bedroom right next to his only friend's while being given a brief explanation of where everything was. After Dorea excused herself Tom had changed into pajamas that honestly felt...well... so soft they could have easily been woven from the breeze itself. If they had been, well he wouldn't have been surprised, better than rough spun orphan-wear for sure.

After admiring his nightwear he blushed a bit self consciously before shrugging off his day clothes and shimmying into the silken offering. After crawling underneath his equally soft sheets Tom felt his heavy eyelids falling and he spoke a word that immediately ensconced him in dark silence as the gas lamps dimmed.

Despite being exhausted his mind wouldn't stop, so much had happened, so much had to be processed that he didn't know where to begin to wind down, so being the logical boy he was he had began writing a list in his mind.

Fact, Iris had been hiding things from him, truths about himself, truths about herself, truths about the nature of their powers.

Fact, Iris had not been malicious in this regard, she had actually been attempting to protect him from the potential pitfalls of Pure-Blood society while carefully teaching him etiquette and propriety in the hopes of performing early damage control.

Fact, Iris was amazing.

Fact, The House of Black wanted to use him for his title and wealth, and likely wished to tie him to Iris permanently in the process.

Fact, he...did not mind this in the slightest...he lo-cared for Iris immensely and having her at his side would not be a bad thing, in fact it could readily help him re-establish his own misbegotten house.

Fact, He'd found himself in a den of snakes that-

The door cracked open letting a cascade of light flood his room and Tom sat up blinking as he took in the silhouetted form waiting at the threshold.

"Tomcat?"

His throat constricted and for the life of him he didn't know why, it was just Iris, it wasn't the first time she'd barged in on him in the dark of night after all, why was he bothered now?"

"Yes Iris?" He replied in kind, his only friend released a sigh of relief as she closed the door and he heard her near silent padding to his bed, a moment later he felt a familiar weight land next to him.

Shimmying underneath his bed sheets Iris pulled him close and let out a relieved sigh as she snuggled into a comfortable position, Tom did nothing to hide the smirk that curled up his lips, the dark would hold his secrets after all.

"It was too quiet in my room," she stated without preamble. He understood what she meant, at Wool's, in it's rundown neighborhood, they would have been hearing dog barks, gun shots, cars backfiring, and a dozen other little bits of noise pollution at this point.

Here?

"Too quiet in here too," Tom admitted as he snuggled closer to Iris, she sighed as she rested her head to his chest, and for reasons he couldn't fathom her next words made him freeze up like a statue.

"If I can hear your heart, it isn't too quiet, now is it? Maybe like this I can sleep..."

Tom remained silent for too long, he knew this, well over twenty minutes of dead silence following her declaration. It didn't matter though, he knew she was still waiting for him to respond.

"Don't ever feel you need to leave me...please...Iris Alya Black... I'll always be there for you..."

To his unending shock he felt her hot breath brush across his nose as she pecked his cheek with a chaste kiss, "Never, Tom Marvolo Riddle." Tom stayed frozen for several moments before a grin overtook his face, oh yes, this he could work with. He and Iris, against the world, magic, mundane, it didn't matter, no one could stand up to them at this point.

Snickering slightly he pulled his only friend closer, if that was possible, then muttered, "They have no idea what they're getting into, do they?"

Iris giggled and wrapped her arms around him as well, "None...and it will be...hilarious...to see the fools scramble against us when they realize their folly..."


	9. A Proper Father Figure

**Was a bit surprised how many people were looking forward to Charlus showing up, well here you go folks, the only father figure Tom will ever likely have...or need. Also I know it's kinda short but since last update was really just a blurb and only a few days ago I figured I'd treat you all.**

 **Answering a few questions now:**

 **Why was Harry able to fake being a girl so well? Simple, he just combined elements of what he'd observed in the muggle world with Luna's randomness and Ginny's forwardness and kinda let it fly on its own. Remember Iris hasn't hit puberty yet so she doesn't have hormones addling anything...yet.**

 **Why does Harry think quiditch is stupid? Because Nemesis13 hates quiditch, he hates reading about it, and he most definitely hates writing it. In this timeline Harry used quiditch as an excuse to fly since it was the only freedom he had ever experienced and he relished it despite finding the sport he played idiotic.**

 **Why does Tom seem a bit submissive? He's not, remember most of these early chapters took place in the same day, Iris knew what she was doing and he took a step back to let her do her thing while he observed and made his own plans in silence.**

 **How does Harry know what he does about the Black family? That's my primary deviation from cannon, instead of leaving the country after his escape at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban Sirius kidnapped Harry and took him on a series of insane adventures including attempting to get him a harem of veela. In the process Harry received a crash course on upper society and the family history, it's also my way of explaining why the blood wards did nothing to fend off dementors the following year. You broke it Sirius, bad dog.**

 **Anyway, please review!**

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Lord Charlus Potter was whistling to himself in a rather poor fashion as he made his way down to the wing housing he and his wife's new wards, contemplating how to start their day off. That had been a bit of a surprise really, not an unwanted one mind, he loved kids and couldn't wait to have his own, but definitely a surprise. He was quite glad that Dorea had kept him from even knowing about the family meeting though, much less attending the discussion that had decided the fate of those two.

Knowing his temperament and his own fairly neglected childhood he'd likely have raised up quite a storm, which, to be honest, would have been amusing since he disliked Lord Arcturus immensely. Not that the kids were any more fond of him than he was according to Dorea, her story about 'Stabby' had him on the floor rolling about in laughter for a good spell and he couldn't wait to see what they did to the stuffy bastard next.

Approaching Iris's door he knocked on it gently, getting no answer he cracked the door and peaked inside, seeing a ruffled yet clearly not slept in bed he cocked a brow and moved on to Tom's room. Repeating the process he froze up at what he saw, stuck somewhere between bristling at the impropriety of the sight, and the desire to let out an 'Awww' sound.

The covers had shifted off in the night, little Iris was curled up to Tom's side, head resting on his chest as his left arm rested protectively over her shoulders and they just looked so...damn cute. Smiling to himself he decided to _not_ act like old Fleamont would have to him and instead pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, stood upright, and let out a very loud cough.

He had bet on the fact that kids growing up in an orphanage had instilled what most would call survival instincts, and he had been correct, the pair opened their eyes as one blinking rapidly. Noting that the boys eyes briefly glowed red and the girl's violet before shifting back to their more normal blue and green he threw the now groggily sitting up pair a winning smile.

"'Ello loves! I'm Lord Charlus F. Potter, do not ask what the F. stands for I despise the name immensely. For brevity's sake please just call me Charlus or Uncle Charlie if you will, the 'Lord' thing was my self centered father's decision and not my own. Normally I'd have an elf deliver this message but seeing as how yesterday young Tom didn't even know they existed I decided to give your little hearts a break. Breakfast is ready, I will wait in the hall for you two to dress."

Sweeping out of the room Charlus leaned against the wall and began humming to himself, not thirty seconds later Iris appeared from Tom's room gently closing the door behind her, turning to meet his gaze he couldn't help smirking at her beet red visage.

"L-Charlus I must apologize-" he cut her off with a raised hand and an open smile.

"While it is...inappropriate you two are a _bit_ too young to be getting up to anything questionable, that and I'd hazard a guess that the pair off you were roomed together at Wool's?"

She nodded slowly at that, "Yes sir, no one wished to room with either of us and well...they don't really have much in the way of heating so we had grown accustomed to sleeping beside each other..."

Charlus shrugged lightly at that while making a 'shooing' motion towards her own bedroom, "I figured as much, best get used to sleeping alone for the time being though, Hogwarts doesn't really approve of shared space like that. Now go and get dressed before young Tom finishes preparing for the day before you even get started." She smiled once and gave a brief curtsy before padding away to her room, not thirty seconds later Tom made his appearance whilst fiddling with his tie.

Charlus did his best to hide his amusement at the child's muttered curses as he stepped before Tom taking a knee, "Here son lemme help with that. Acromantula silk looks and feels great but sadly it is highly magic resistant so there is no 'cheat' other than experience when it comes to tying ones tie."

Tom stood still and stared at the grinning man before him in shock, no adult, aside from perhaps Dorea, had ever shown him a modicum of care and this alone froze him up long enough to prevent him from protesting. That...and he'd called Tom son...something he'd daydreamed to happen since...well...forever...

"Th-thank you sir," Charlus scoffed at that as he rolled his eyes and stood back up to his full height.

"Sir he calls me, soon it'll be Lord, then My Lord, and then..." he let out a hiss as he pinched the bridge of his nose pushing his round frame glasses up in the process before gathering himself. Dropping his hands to his sides he was smiling cheerfully a moment later, "Apologies lad, just my own family issues coming to the forefront. You're quite welcome, during the next month I'll be teaching you how to do things like that as well as etiquette befitting an heir as well as other little tidbits."

Before Tom could reply Iris's door opened and the girl in question stepped out into the hall, she was wearing a cream colored long sleeve dress and much to Charlus's amusement had at least a dozen crude knives in her hands.

Meeting the adult's gaze she blushed lightly as she glanced to the side, "I can't hide my tools in any of the clothes left for me and my dress from the orphanage is gone."

Charlus snickered as he offered an open hand to the girl, she _very_ reluctantly handed the weapons over but relaxed a bit when he simply placed them on a table near them.

"That dress is likely already destroyed, as for your weapons Dorea is taking you to the Black armory to get yourself properly outfitted today whilst I take young Tom to the Potter equivalent. Both of you will get proper training on how to defend yourselves in the next few weeks, although your training will likely be more intensive, Dorea is a bit of a stickler on how a Lady of Black should be able to wield a blade."

This had both the children perking up and soon they followed their new guardian down the hall, Charlus glanced over his shoulder now and then barely managing to suppress the urge to snicker every time he saw the pair casually holding hands. Ah to be back at Hogwarts again just to see how they'd react to the Black Heiress and Slytherin Heir interacting like this, chaos pure chaos awaited.

Entering the small room he had turned into a casual dining area Charlus gestured towards the children's seats, they took positions and sat in polite patience as he himself fell heavily into his own chair.

Glancing to the pair he grinned once again, "Dorea is making breakfast for you two today as a treat rather than letting the house elves handle it. I really do find it amazing someone who grew up as a Black has any idea how to cook, much less as well as she does."

"Well dear some of us would rather avoid being 'accidentally' poisoned so necessity overrules propriety at times," Dorea stated cheerfully as she glided into the room. She leaned down and kissed her husband before turning and taking a seat across from her new wards.

"G-good morning La-Dorea," Iris stammered out, Charlus noticed Tom throwing her an odd glance but wrote that off as him being unaccustomed to his friend showing nervousness. If half of what Dorea had told him yesterday had actually happened he could understand the boys confusion, but this was probably the first time the girl finally realized it was all real. She was no longer exiled, she was safe, and she was nervous as hell it was all going to implode before her.

"A good morning to you as well little cousin, and to you Tom, did you sleep well?"

Tom fidgeted a bit before quietly replying, "Yes Dorea we did, it was just...too quiet, we were use to a lot of noise where we lived and it was a bit...unsettling."

Dorea 'hmm'd' at that a moment but before she could say anything else a house elf popped into existence beside her.

"Mistress Potter would yous be liking Dincy to be bringing your foods out for breakfast now?" Smiling down at the elf in a pretty servants dress Dorea nodded slowly in return and with a followup 'pop' the diminutive creature was gone.

Not a moment later a simple yet hearty looking meal appeared before them and with very little encouragement the children tore into their food. Dorea exchanged a sad look with Charlus as she sipped her morning tea observing her young charges.

They didn't eat like savages or anything like that, they were polite but both focused on eating the breakfast meats as fast as possible, to ensure that no one could take them before they could finish most likely. The young Potter couple might not have any experience on what life was like in an orphanage, but they were not stupid and could easily guess.

"On the plus side," Dorea began a few minutes into the meal, "You'll be eating like this, actually _better_ than this every day once you get to Hogwarts." Iris raised a brow at that but Tom looked slightly shocked, Charlus grinned at the boys reaction while nodding to his wife giving her a 'good going dear' wink.

"Quite right! The feasts are amazing, more food than you could possibly eat! Always wondered what happened to what wasn't finished actually, had to be quite a bit..."

"They keep it in stasis and use it where necessary throughout the term," Iris stated off handidly, her three companions gave her looks that had her blushing slightly as she glanced down at her meal. "I err...read it in Hogwarts: A History," well...Hermione had, but Harry's best friend had quoted the damn thing so many times he'd practically read it himself, Iris was sure.

"Ah, makes sense," Charlus stated with a shrug. After this the meal was finished in silence, after thanking Dorea for her efforts the kids said their goodbyes for the day, which included a hug and a peck to the cheek from Iris that caused Tom to blush, and soon the males were alone once again.

"Umm...what are we going to do next sir?" Charlus grinned evilly at that as he rubbed his hands together expectantly, this had Tom cock a brow in anticipation more than anything.

"Why lad I'm going to teach you the fine art of pranking of course! After that we'll have lunch where I'll teach you proper eating and utensil etiquette which is as boring as it sounds, but necessary."

"Pranking? Whatever would I need to know how to prank people for in polite society?"

Charlus placed his hand on his chest while letting out a dramatic gasp, "Be still my heart! What would you need to know how to prank for?" His grin now turned from evil to devilish, "Simply put my dear boy, planning a prank takes intelligence, wit, and skill. Pulling it off and not getting caught takes guile. Being there when it goes off and showing no reaction other than of horrified surprise as is to be expected will teach you how to keep a straight face in a trying situation. Most importantly though..." as he'd been talking Tom's eyes had grown wider as he leaned in absorbing everything, and as Charlus voice fell to a whisper the young boy looked fit to burst.

"Most importantly what Charlus?" He asked with bated breath.

Charlus smirked as he reached over and gripped Tom's shoulder, "Most importantly it teaches you to enjoy watching your enemies suffer, and them never finding out it was _you_ who caused it."

Tom smirked in turn as he nodded, "I think I'll like these lessons," Charlus laughed and patted Tom gently on the head.

"Good, good! Now! First I'm going to have to teach you the bare bones basics on potion brewing, can't have a good prank without knowing the proper protocols after all. Now...where did I put my school trunk..."

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 **Charlus just kinda kept writing himself, I sorta like him honestly. Please review!**


	10. In The Pursuit of Better Stabbings

**So, fleshing out Dorea a bit here, it's short yeah but hey, three updates in four days after months of silence? Hope you all enjoyed, please read and review!**

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The two Ladies of Black walked down the halls of Potter Manor in silence, the elder content to leave the talking for later, the younger feeling decidedly uncomfortable with the stifling lack of sound. Harry had never been good at small talk, one of the varied reasons he'd just let Ron and Hermione go at each other really, it filled the void despite how annoying their bickering could get and it freed him from having to do anything regardless. Sadly, Iris had no such distraction and after a few minutes she couldn't take it anymore.

"Sooo..." she began lamely, not quite sure how to spark up a conversation with the woman that would eventually be Harry's grandmother. It wasn't like she didn't have access to Iris's memories of Dorea, which there were many and all of them pleasant, it was that she was trying to reconcile those memories with the stories Padfoot had regaled Harry with.

* * *

 **With a Drunk DogFather**

"Now pup this fine lady was your grandmother Dorea! She was the best, she and Uncle Charlus took me in when I ran away from home when I was fifteen. My mother had decided that using the cruciatus curse on her children was the best way to get me to agree to becoming a Death Eater you see, I cordially disagreed and cut ties."

The soon to be fourteen year old gaped openly at his Godfather upon hearing this, having recently been introduced to the horrors of the unforgivable pain curse by said Godfather's rants about Dark Magik.

"Your own mother did that to you!? How could she?" Sirius's somewhat manic grin faltered a bit before he shook his head quickly, quite dog like really, which was rather fitting.

"Doesn't matter, not talking about the hag that birthed me we're talking about Prongs and my mum! Anyway she was great, embodiment of everything the women in my family were supposed to be before they became Voldemort fan girls. Cultured, cunning, kind and cruel where needed, she was the best." The rather haggered former prisoner leaned against the far wall and slid to the floor staring up at the smiling middle aged woman's portrait, now lost in the past, lost in better times.

Feeling uncomfortable at the sudden silence Harry coughed into his hand gaining Sirius's attention once more, "What was she like? As a person?"

Sirius stared at him a few moments before grinning, lifting the half empty bottle of scotch he'd been clutching in his hand the man took a pull then offered it to Harry who took a sip, for politeness sake if nothing else.

"All right, this is the best way I can define Auntie Dory in a single story. Heh...that rhymed...anyway... Right, it was Yule break of our seventh year, James and Lily had finally become the thing we all knew they were destined to be and I was enjoying the hounds life. In short, Prongs and I were living up the last year of our freedom to the hilt, because we knew with...the war...the fighting...the deaths to come..."

He trailed off as a growl escaped from deep within his chest, a moment later he was startled out of his growing anger by Harry who gently gripped his shoulder giving the man a kind smile in turn. Shaking his shaggy head Sirius patted the floor next to him and Harry obliged plopping down beside his Godfather who accepted the bottle of scotch back while taking another pull before continuing.

"Right, anyway we were home for Yule and when we entered Potter Manor we were assaulted by the most delicious smells, your grandmother loved baking for the holidays, and even though she was getting on in her years she was as spry as ever. Prongs and I went into the kitchens sneaking about as was our wont, when we saw both Aunt Dorea and Uncle Charlus sipping from mugs as they leaned against each other, staring out the window."

Sirius sniffed a bit at this before burying the unshed tears with more liquor, "Anyway, Prongs and I, we didn't want to intrude so we just snuck in and grabbed a couple cakes when Aunt Dorea spoke up."

 _The woman let out a dreamy sigh as she dropped her head to her husband's shoulder, "I miss the Nazis dear," she opined with a slight pout._

 _Charlus took a sip from his mug chuckling as he nodded his agreement, "Me too love."_

 _Dorea lifted her head once again taking a sip from her own drink as she stared out at the falling snow, "We could kill as many of them as we wanted, and no one said a damn thing about it. We even received medals for it in fact, ah well... better, simpler times."_

 _Charlus snorted at that as he wrapped an arm around his wife's waist pulling her close, "Ah the Third Reich, the gift that kept on giving."_

Harry just stood there goggling at Sirius who began chuckling as he finished off the bottle, tossing it down the hall he met Harry's flummoxed gaze evenly.

"He was a Potter who managed to win the heart of a _t_ _he_ lady of Black Harry, you shouldn't be surprised that they were both bloody brilliant."

* * *

 **Back in the Past**

"So," Dorea began with a knowing smile, "you've kept up on your blade training it seems, not that it is surprising or anything like that. You always were a bit..."

Iris smirked as she turned her gaze to meet Dorea's, "A bit...stab happy perhaps?" Dorea chuckled as she pulled the girl closer to her side while nodding slowly at the quip.

"Quite so dear, I'm not going to pretend to not know about the dozen blades you had on you when you came home last night but I am disappointed in their quality. To rectify that situation we are going to head back to Black Manor and nick what you want from the armory, no one should be there at the moment so no fears of any unwanted interference love."

Iris nodded at this and after a journey through the floo they found themselves back in the Black ancestral home. Taking Iris's hand Dorea led her through several halls and flights of stairs before reaching a massive set of double doors, pulling out a small knife from...Iris had no idea from where, Dorea pricked her finger and rubbed the welling blood across the wood grain frame.

Moments later the doors emitted a series of heavy clunks and thuds before the egress swung open, leaning her head in Iris's eyes widened as she took in the rows upon rows of blades, poisons, traps, and wands.

"Great googly moogly..." was all the small girl could utter at the bounty of potential violence before her, which in turn earned a delighted cackle from her cousin who gripped her shoulders squeezing them knowingly.

"Indeed love! Now shall we get you outfitted?" Iris nodded not really paying attention as she began walking down the aisles, hefting blades at random as she absently accepted an expanded bag from Dorea, and soon began hastily shoving dozens of throwing knives and spikes into it along with several holsters. Grabbing various punch knives and shivs Iris meandered down the aisles humming to herself before she came to a stop, turning abruptly she walked down to the far end of the room and froze before a rather large blade stabbed point first into a shelf thick with dust.

At first it was reminiscent of a elongated kitchen knife, but it wasn't a blade for preparing meals, not by any means. The thing was nearly the size of a dirk, its pure silver blade was blackened with etchings of looping vines, the handle chased bronze depicting ancient, incomprehensible runes of an unknown origin.

Gripping the handle with both hands Iris pulled the weapon free and lifted the blade to eye level, ignoring the flecks of long dried blood that fell along with the dust of ages as she did so.

A moment later, Hermione's voice echoed through her mind;

 _"One, Two! One, Two! And through and through_

 _The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!_

 _He left it dead, and with its head_

 _He went galumphing back."_

Iris nearly dropped the blade as she brought a hand to rest to her brow, fighting back the echoes of the future long past. Shaking her head she stared at the blade in her hands for a time and after a moment of clarity smiled serenely.

"You were right 'Mione, _Through the Looking-Glass_ was most definitely worth the read..."

Looking around absently Iris eventually found a sheath for the blade, while it was far too large for her now, in a few years it would be the perfect offhand weapon to be used in the middle of a war. Turning to Dorea, who was sifting through a bin of old garrote wires Iris felt her resolve solidify and nodded to herself as she came to a decision.

War was coming, the greatest, most terrible war humanity had ever bore witness to, and even if she wasn't of age, she would fight alongside her family regardless of their wishes... She just hoped Tom would agree with her decision...but that was a few years from now. Today...today it was time to begin her training. Approaching Dorea Iris lifted the Vorpal Blade to the woman's attention earning a raised brow from her cousin in the process.

"I know I'm too small to use it properly now, but can you teach me how to use this?" Dorea stared at the blade a few moments before dropping her lazy gaze to the small girl before her.

"How the bloody hell did you even find that thing? It only presents itself to those who..." Dorea paused, met Iris's eager eyes with her own, then shifted her gaze back to the sheathed blade. Letting out an exasperated sigh she eventually nodded slowly earning a delighted squeal from the younger girl, "Yes, fine I'll show you...but you don't tell Charlus about this, all right?"

Iris threw the elder Black her most innocent doe eyed stare, "Tell him about what dear cousin?" Dorea cocked a brow at her a moment before letting out a cackle, pulling Iris close Dorea made for the door still giggling a bit.

"Oh you are going to fit in just perfectly with us! Now, first things first we need to figure out a way to hide that rudding cursed thing when you get to Hogwarts..."

* * *

 **I actually really enjoyed the original Alive in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass stories by Lewis Carrol, Disney and Burton didn't do them any real justice. Oh, and expect Iris to reflect on Hermione whenever she uses the thing, I think it fits their characters at least. Things are moving on and while short, it is a fast update. Don't expect another one for a few days, I have to help relatives move...ugh... Regardless, I hope you enjoyed!**


	11. We Have Us, and They'll Never Take That

**This chapter just happened after five beers and an X-Files marathon on Netflix, please enjoy the muse going mad and if you're feeling up to it, REVIEW!**

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The month Tom spent under the guidance of Charlus Potter had benefited him in ways that Iris could never have anticipated, and if she were to be completely honest with herself, that fact made her mildly jealous. While studying under Dorea had been nothing but entertaining the piece of her that would always be Harry Potter wished beyond wish that she'd been taken in by the man's near bombastic exuberance.

That...that was something she would just have to deal with though, the entire reason Harry had originally befriended Tom and had made Iris such an integral part of his life was to expose the possible future Dark Lord to the best of what humanity had to offer after all.

And Charlus...well...Harry's grandfather had given Tom the one thing he would never, in any other circumstance have...and that was a father figure. Someone to teach, guide, and love him, to tutor him on how to be a proper young man, show him the pitfalls of their society and how to avoid them. How to be a proper Heir, and how a gentleman gifted his foes with swift retribution while showing his allies nothing but stern kindness and empathy.

Iris wasn't sure what to feel about it, because as much as Iris loved having a mother figure in Dorea...she could easily see the future James Potter in Charlus...and she was bitter that she could not indulge in knowing him better.

Fucking Pure-bloods and their propriety...

"Iris you're glowering," Tom said as he was bent over a steaming cauldron, back turned to her as he gently swayed to Benny Goodman's 'Sing Sing Sing' crooning from the record player in the corner. Shifting her gaze to her best friend the redhead snorted lightly before turning her eyes back to the massive cleaver she was twirling through her fingers. Really, the Vorpal Blade could take many forms, but damn did it choose an odd one for her, and it was a trial learning its proper balance.

Really, short sword meets kitchen knife, it...was ironically fitting considering Iris's training with blades and Harry's experience with the Sword of Gryffindor and his cooking duties under the Dursleys. Huh...maybe it wasn't so odd after all...

Shaking her head she finally responded with, "And how could you possibly know that without looking at me Tomcat?"

Tom's back straightened abruptly as he glanced over his shoulder giving Iris a smirk that actually nearly caused her to stumble in mid motion. It was pure charm, warm cockiness, and pure unadulterated self assurance.

Holy shite, maybe having him trained by a proper Potter was a bad idea, especially considering she was fairly certain she was blushing considering her face was burning and Tom's smirk become significantly more self satisfied a moment later.

Please, _please_ do not tell her she was entering puberty, it was the last thing she needed right now...

"I know because you're breathing heavier than normal, your foot steps are actually audible, and your blade movements are more aggravated thus the airflow around you has changed."

Iris stared at him a few moments before huffing and going back to her blade practice, "I'm just bored with my training is all, cousin Dorea is wonderful don't get me wrong, I just want...more..."

Tom shrugged at that as he sprinkled a bit of ground unicorn horn into his potion, "I unfortunately can not relate Little Flower, Charlus has been pushing me near three weeks to get this potion down perfectly so I've been a bit focused."

This was true, they'd both sneaked into the other's room a few times over the past month to cuddle and commiserate but for the most part their training had kept them separated. Both of them, much to Iris's complete lack of surprise, excelled at the Dark Arts. The surprise though was that Tom had a rather unique affinity for potion brewing, while Iris had talents in runes, thus they were snatched up by the respective masters of the household.

This honestly perplexed the young girl, neither Harry nor Iris had any real interest in the art of runic enchanting but together well...they were really, _really_ good at it.

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts she sheathed the ornate blade and tossed it on a table before walking over to her friend staring down at his potion.

"Watchya cook'in good look'in?" she drawled out earning an amused snort from the boy, who much to her shock leaned down and kissed her brow before turning back to his potion. Iris was honestly flummoxed and quite sure of her blush now, Tom didn't initiate intimate contact, like...ever. He...what...what the hell?

"It's something D-Charlus invented his fifth year," he near stammered as he gestured towards the gathered ingredients doing his level best to pretend his close slip hadn't occurred. "You...well you told me about what happened on the streets, you know about sex and all that, and so do I unfortunately. Charlus created this potion when a friend of his was assaulted by a Ravenclaw who didn't know how to keep his hands to himself. He...well he thought I'd find it amusing."

Iris grimaced at that, upon gaining the original Iris's memories Harry had found out about her blood stained past, and the men who had tried to force themselves on the beautiful little street urchin. The new nightmares were something she had to share with her friend, just to ease her conscious if nothing else, and then try to let it lay in the shadows of yesterday.

After all, no preteen girl should have to have the blood of two dead men on her hands, no matter how much they both deserved it...

"Well you have my interest," she ground out as she hopped up on the tall stool next to his desk, pulling one of her dozens of knives from its holster she began twirling its between her deft fingers cocking a brow at her friend.

Tom snorted before tapping the cauldron on its side thrice and then began stirring it counter clockwise, "Well this potion perfectly emulates complete uncontrollable lust, it increases the sexual urges of the imbiber, and gives them the feeling that they can 'go for hours' as Charlus put it, all while reducing aggressive tendencies to the benefit of those surrounding them."

Iris blinked and tilted her head in confusion at this, "How is this a prank to punish someone?"

Tom smirked at her and his cold blue eyes nearly sparkled with barely restrained mirth, he looked quite comely in that moment really. Wait...comely? Who the fuck thinks the word 'comely' other than Hermione much less actually mean it?!

Before that thought could go any further he replied as he grabbed another ingredient to sprinkle into his brew, "It also prevents all the plumbing downstairs to function. Charlus named the potion 'Impotent Rage' for a reason after all."

Iris's shoulders began vibrating and before she could do anything about it she broke out into maniacal giggles that quickly turned into mad cackling. She was laughing so hard that she had to wrap her arms around her sides to prevent her ribs from aching, Tom just threw her a cool smirk before returning to his work.

Eventually getting a hold of herself Iris turned her mirthful gaze back to her friend, "Oh, oh please tell me that it has a long shelf life, we can make oh so many people utterly miserable with that if they ever cross our paths."

Tom paused at that, turning he glanced to his friend and leaned down, their noses nearly touching, "Iris I've been thinking...about a lot of things this past month, ever since I learned about this world really."

Successfully resisting her body's desire to make her blush, and feeling quite damn proud of the fact considering Tom's closeness, she quickly replied with, "That so Tomcat?"

Tom nodded then tilted his head to the side, "The history, political, and social lessons I've endured have essentially taught me one undeniable fact. Outside of our guardians? Most of this worlds leaders are completely incompetent and likely mildly insane."

Every bit of Iris that was Harry had to resist the urge to break out laughing as she nodded her agreement, "Completely barmy Tomcat, the lot of them."

Tom smirked at that as he snorted lightly, "I figured you'd feel the same with what happened to you. What I was thinking is...why not take over? I mean we're both heirs, have amazingly accepting guardians, we're well aware of how to operate in both the real world and now the magical, and we have common sense. Something Charlus says is in short supply really... Look...I...I've been reading about changes in society."

Tom drew back as he began pacing, hands behind his back as he gathered his thoughts and eventually he sighed and turned to face Iris with a resolute light set in his gaze. "Look, I'm a half-blood getting a crash course from a Grey wizard and you're a previously thought to be squib trained by a Dark witch. We're never going to be accepted by the mainstream due to who we are...I know that...Charlus told me as much even if he didn't agree with it. Honestly his rant was rather impressive but...right...I need to get to my point here, rambling. "

Tom's stance stopped being that of an eleven year old boy as the air around them cooled and his eyes shifted from playful blue to seething crimson, "I won't let them degrade me, you, us, we're going to have to assert ourselves. We're going to have to be...cruel...at times, as much as I know you dislike it...what I'm getting at Iris is...will you follow me? No matter what? To the dark corners and the light plains? Stand by my side so no matter wha-what anyone else says... we have each other at the very least?"

Iris felt her heart clinch at this admission, and while she didn't realize it her eyes shifted from emerald to glowing violet as she hopped off her stool and approached the glowering yet still hopeful boy.

Weaving her fingers between his she smiled up at him winningly as she replied, "I will never leave your side Tomcat, you will always feel wanted, you will always be loved, even if it is just by me and no one else. Just like I've always said."

To her inner Harry's unending shock and horror Tom let out a sob and broke their embrace as he swung his arms around Iris pulling her into a brutal hug.

"Us, always little flower, even if we fall into the Dark."

She returned the hug with sure, but equally shaking arms, "Even if we fall into the Dark Tomcat."

* * *

After being apparated to the Hogwarts Express platform, and immediately swearing off the method of travel in the future, Tom shook his head and allowed his d-Charlus to guide him forward as Dorea did the same for Iris. Approaching the cherry red train he couldn't help but stare at it in awe as steam and smoke billowed from the engines stack causing the suns light to twist the shadows along its magnificent crimson length.

"Remember son," at these words Tom felt his cheeks heat but ignored it as he listened to Charlus words, "It doesn't matter what house you end up in, hell I've said it a thousand times but I was a lion that married a snake, don't worry about it. House boundaries are self perpetuating idiocies for the weak minded. Make friends, make allies, and most of all, have _fun_ as you learn to be the best wizard you can be." Stopping at the platform edge Tom ignored Iris and Dorea out of respect before turning back to his mentor, staring up at the bespectacled man Tom threw his arms around his legs and let out a quiet sob.

"I'll miss you!" Charlus smirked as he ruffled Tom's hair breaking him away gently as he did so.

"We'll miss the both of you, but we'll be content knowing that no matter what the two of you will look after each other right?" Tom nodded expressing as much seriousness as a child could earning him another grin from his father figure. "Be proud of who you are son, what you've endured, yet strive to avoid being a pompous git, and no matter what, keep your lady in waiting safe."

Turning his head towards Iris, who was having an equally tear stained departure with Dorea, Tom nodded solemnly as he muttered his reply. "Anyone who touches her will die an excruciating death..."

Charlus, of course, simply grinned at that response, "That's my boy, now go, learn who you are, have fun, we'll see you two at Yule and we'll have a snow ball war with the girls. Trust me, it'll be fun!" Grinning Tom hugged Charlus once again before rushing to Iris's side as she walked away from Dorea.

Hooking his arm through hers as they dragged their trunks forward Tom threw her a warm smile, "No matter what house we'll be in, we'll always be together...right?"

Before anything else could happen she rolled her eyes and kissed his cheek earning a smile in turn, "We're Slytherins, we couldn't possibly be anything else. But, yes, no matter what, always together..."

Reasonably reassured Tom walked up the ramp leading to the train, and for the first time in his entire life, he truly felt like he was in control of his own destiny.

* * *

 **I personally found this slightly heart wrenching and terrifying, thoughts?**


	12. Our First Steps to Glory

**I'm actually going to delete the current poll on my profile and put up a new one. After reading this chapter, where do you want Iris to end up? Please review!**

 **Edit- An incredibly special thanks to** **Ju du Nord, Yuni Stark, and DocWho999 on the translations.**

* * *

Tom and Iris walked down the corridors of the Hogwarts Express in silence, eventually they found an unoccupied compartment and entered it. Taking in the large empty cabin Tom pulled out his wand and performed a perfect levitation charm on both his and Iris's trunks placing them on the shelves above the benches.

Iris wished, more for Harry's sake than anything, that her previous incarnation had realized that the 'all powerful' trace was completely and utterly useless anywhere near a magical district. Yet another thing the Ministry bigots withheld from muggle-born and muggle raised children, something she and Tom would have change when they took over for sure.

Sighing the pair sat down and leaned against each other, Tom's forearm resting upon Iris's as their fingers interlinked, their hands gripping each other lightly as their heads rested together.

Iris was mildly disconcerted at times with how comfortable she was being so intimately close to Tom, how she was able to just...forget what he had... what he could possibly do to those she loved in the future. On that note though, she couldn't forget the fact that he was just an eleven year old kid that hadn't been pigeon holed into becoming the next great evil by an over assertive meddler with projection issues.

Iris's brow furrowed at that thought, while Harry hadn't held Dumbledore on a pedestal for quite a long while, her thoughts were becoming quite a bit darker than normal while thinking about the old fool. On that note she was fairly well convinced Ron had been right and all three of the 'Golden Trio' had been dosed with potions by the old bastard their sixth year, nothing any of them did during their time at Hogwarts had made any goddamn sense that year otherwise.

Really, Ron, Mister 'I'm going to be greater than my brothers and break my families mold!' suddenly became obsessed with _Lavender Brown_ of all people. Someone he previously couldn't stand being in the same room with going on five years running because she reminded him too much of his mother? Really? The girl misspelled _rock_ for fucks sake, and even though Ron could be shallow he had a certain level of idiocy he could handle before he became scathingly impolite.

I.E. his every interaction with Crabbe and Goyle, not that Harry would have ever judged the ginger for his opinions on the pair of proto-primates. Really, inbreeding at its best there...

And then there was Hermione, holy shit, Hermione. She who stole supplies from the Dungeon Bat himself to brew a highly illegal potion in an abandoned washroom to find out if, on the off chance her idiot boys were right, Draco Malfoy was the heir Slytherin, suddenly questioned Harry's every move.

Riiight, because Malfoy completely changing his past characterization and habits after daddy dearest was sent to Azkaban wasn't reason enough to watch the little poofter much less the _fucking Dark Mark_ on his arm.

Good god Ron _was_ right wasn't he? What the fuck was Dumbledore spiking their drinks with? Seriously after they'd been roughing it a few months in the woods and Ron returned after his ridiculous blow up the three of them began acting like...the three of them. They'd stopped behaving like stereotypes and had just simply become Harry, Hermione, and Ron again, like they'd always been previously.

Just like how they had all died, within minutes of each other.

Iris resisted the urge to sob when the blood stained images of Harry's brother and sister of the heart flashed across her mind, but just barely.

It wouldn't happen again, it wouldn't happen this time. Ron and 'Mione would...they'd live...

She would take the helm of the Black family, she and Tom would gain control of the government through guile and intimidation, and she would make sure the innocent had a chance to be _innocent._

Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Harry Potter would live carefree happy lives and would never know the horrors Iris Black had witnessed.

She would boil the oceans, melt the icecaps, and burn the continents clean of life to make it so.

Heh, fun part about the Black family magik, outside of the glowy violet eyes? Violence was the best answer to protecting those you loved. Always.

Iris was pulled from her reverie when the cabin door slid open and a young boy with long brown hair entered, his shimmering silver eyes landed on her and he threw his arms wide while bellowing an ecstatic greeting.

"Ma chère, où étiez-vous passée!?"

Iris couldn't help herself, she jumped from the bench and threw herself into the boys arms who then spun her about laughing in turn.

"Mon cher Alphard, j'étais tout simplement en attente que vous nous fassiez connaître votre présence!"

Chuckling heavily the closest person Iris ever had to a brother placed her back on the ground shortly followed by him kissing both her cheeks, eventually he noticed the glowering boy glaring at him and raised a brow.

"Votre amoureux, ma chère ?"

Iris snorted, "Le plus probable"

The boy nodded once then grinned widely, "My apologies, my manners are a bit remiss I admit, I am Alphard Black. Obviously you know my little sister, well...cousin really but who's counting, who might you be?"

Tom, realizing that the new arrival was not poaching his only friend, stood and bowed, "I am Tom Riddle, the Heir of Slytherin."

Alphard paused a moment before he broke out laughing, eventually he calmed down enough to turn to Iris and threw her a bemused smirk.

"Riddle isn't a Pure-Blood name is it?"

Iris shook her head in the negative, "No, Tomcat's a Half-Blood."

Alphard broke into further laughter doing his level best not to fall over in the process, Tom's glare returned but eventually the boy calmed enough to speak, and his words soothed the heir's ego quickly enough.

"I don't find the fact that you are a half-blood funny, don't get me wrong. It's just that Slytherin house has got this...thing going for it that anyone of mixed blood is unworthy, unclean. The simple fact that _you_ , a halfie, are the heir to their house is just hilarious."

Tom relaxed and nodded while smiling coldly in turn, "Ah, irony then."

Alphard kept grinning while thrusting a finger towards the sky, "Irony indeed my good man! Well, regardless it seems my little cousin has become good friends with you, I'd be remiss to ignore her tastes. Friends?"

Iris tensed up as Alphard extended he hand towards Tom and her world froze for an eternal moment. This was it, the tipping point, she knew, somehow. This was important, and it all rested on Tom's shoulders.

The blue eyed boy stared at the extended hand a moment then smirked as he gripped it and shook it lightly, "Friends, as long as you have Iris's best interests at heart, you will always have my wand to back you up."

Alphard grinned manically in turn while nodding quickly, "Indeed! Tell me my good man, what do you know about turning a potential suitors lusts against his own interests?" Shifting his gaze towards Iris he lowered his tone slightly, "For hypothetical reasons, of course." Tom perked up at this and suddenly Iris lost both boys as they began prattling on about pranking of all things.

Really? Is this what Lily felt like when dealing with James and Sirius and...oh my fucking god...

Slowly backing out of the cabin Iris spun around and fully intended to run to the loo to hyperventilate when she ran into a girl roughly her size. Nearly knocking her over Iris shot her arms out and grabbed the girl saving her from a rather nasty fall in the process.

"I'm so sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going, are you all right? I'm sorry once again can I help you find a cabin?"

The green eyed, black haired girl shook her head and met her gaze evenly as she smiled in turn, her Scottish brogue burning brightly on the tip of her tongue.

"Not a worry lass, just a knock and a bump eh? Me names Minerva, what's yours?"

Iris's inner Harry was screaming in terror, but Iris herself? Oh she began cackling like a mad woman.

* * *

 **MY FRENCH READERS! You AWESOME Nazi killing mother fuckers! Iris and Alphard are going to be speaking French to each other _often_ , I need someone to help me translate. Googles...ok...I guess but it doesn't know the difference between cher and ****chère which is really goddamn annoying. So if any of you want to be the dedicated translator, lemme know!**

 **Also! Anyone wanna make a new cover art of Iris and Tomcat? Remember, sane and undercover, Blue and Green eyes, embracing the family magic Red and Purple.**

 **Ninja edit, translations:**

"Ma chère, où étiez-vous passée!?"-My dear, where have you been!?

Mon Cher Alphard, je suis tout simplement en attente pour vous de faire connaître votre présence- My Dear Alphard, I was just waiting for you make presence known!

Votre Paramour le plus chère?- Your paramour my dear?

Le plus probable- Most Likely


	13. The Mischievous Quartet

**The muse is an odd bird, she takes you where she wills it and you have to deal with it because forcing her to do what you want accomplishes nothing but poor content. I'm sorry this took so long, and it is honestly rather short, but my friend Lily has been trying to get me to focus on specific projects as of late and I thought I'd take her advice and throw myself into one that made me smile.**

 **This is slightly angsty here and there but it's mostly spent forming the core quartet of protagonists, sorting will be next chapter and after that we'll be hopping over a year and two now and then as they build their power base.**

 **Until then, thank you all for steadfastly keeping up with this fic and I hope to update soon, please review!**

* * *

Iris stared at the grinning visage of Minerva McGonagall and couldn't help the pangs of respect, trust, and familial love that pulsed through her as the plucky young girl thrust her hand towards the Black heiress.

Even through the haze of nostalgia that was Harry's memories she knew that the half-blood Scotswoman was aware she was breaking protocol, that she was aware Iris was a Black by the crest sewn upon her breast. This was a test of a sort, would she accept a rather informal half-blood's hand in friendship, or would she refuse it with a sneer of disgust?

Thankfully, even if Iris had been one for decorum, she was well aware of who this formidable little witch would grow up into. One of the bravest, most talented, intelligent, loyal, and resolute women Harry Potter had ever known. The simple fact that Minerva was, at her heart, a mischievous quiditch nut only endeared the future Transfiguration Mistress to her more.

Iris had to have her, Dumbledore could find another second in command, mini Minny was her's now.

"I'm Iris Black, nice to meet you!" She said this while grasping Minerva's hand and shaking it lightly smiling as she did so, said girl's already radiant grin turned up a notch as her greeting was readily accepted.

"If'n ya aren't mind'in would ya let me bunk in yer cabin? The others aren't really full yet but they're mostly occupied by older students and..." Her bubbly confidence floundered a bit here and Iris could only nod to quickly deter whatever self doubt was about to claim Minerva's earlier cheer.

"Of course! Come in I'll introduce you to my cousin Alphard and my Tomcat," grabbing the door latch she slid the panel aside and pulled Minerva in after her. Both boys turned to her quizzically, taking in the nervously shifting girl standing beside the redhead in stride.

"Who do we have here ma chère?" Minerva met Alphard's inquisitive silver eyes and blushed slightly as she coughed into her hand.

"Me names Minerva McGonagall, a pleasure to meet ya."

Before the boys could say anything Iris pointed at Alphard and spoke quickly, "This is my favorite cousin of my age group, Alphard Black, call him Al, I always do." With that she pointed at Tom while smiling a little more brightly than before, "And that is my best friend Tom Riddle, I call him Tomcat but no one else is allowed to, you can just call him Tom."

Both boys nodded slowly to Minerva who sheepishly ruffled her skirt a bit before replying, "Ya can call me Min, or Minny if'na ya be want'in, most of me friends back home do."

Tom and Al exchanged glances, looked to Iris and saw how pleased she was with Minerva's presence, and relaxed as they both waved to the empty bench across from them.

"Please take a seat...Min," Tom began, "Al and I were just discussing the proper ways to enforce class and tact on those who disrespect the people we care about most."

As Iris levitated Minerva's trunk up onto the shelf she stage whispered to her new female companion in a manner that had both boys snort in amusement, "They mean pranking gits for being themselves."

Taking a seat beside Iris the young Scottish girl's green eyes sparkled lightly with a hint of mischief, "If'n yer mean'in prank'in, would ya be want'in a bit of extra input? I have meself more than a few brothers and cousins who cringe at the sound of me name when they rile me more inventive side. Not bragging or anythin' mind ye." She grinned viciously here, "Just facts and all."

The boys exchanged glances as they obviously had some sort of unspoken debate, a few moments later they seemed to have come to a silent consensus as they slowly nodded to each other.

A moment later they both turned to Minerva and responded as one, "We're listening."

Minerva's return grin was positively burning with mischievous intent, and at the moment Iris knew she was not going to have a single quiet moment in her time at Hogwarts.

The thought warmed her heart in ways she couldn't even imagine.

The ride to Hogwarts went along rather calmly for a time after that as Min, Tomcat, and Al bantered about previous antics, all while Iris could only smile and watch them with placid happiness.

She sighed whimsically while silently shaking her head. Really, without a Malfoy showing up to ineffectively posture, or Hermione quizzing them on their homework, or the Weasleys getting into an argument, or Neville's plants spraying everyone in puss, and Luna...

It hit her so suddenly that Iris couldn't help feeling light headed, the screams, the blood, the deaths, the utter lose, it nearly tore the breath from her. Shuddering from the sudden chill running down her body Iris grit her teeth as she resisted the urge to throw up in her own lap.

A moment later she shot to her feet, "Excuse me I need to go to the washroom," her companions shot their now pale faced and slightly shivering friend worried looks but she was out the door before they could stop her. Entering the wash room the small redhead turned on the faucet and quickly splashed icy cold water on her face as she shuddered uncontrollably.

That had been bad, and unexpected.

Iris figured it made a certain kind of sense, really. After all while she'd taken a step back after merging her memories with Harry's and managed to look at his past analytically, being on the very train that had carried he and his friends to the only home he had ever known was...more emotionally taxing than she had thought it would be.

That being said, if this is how she reacted to the Hogwarts express...she didn't want to think how she'd be at the school proper.

"Get it together Black," she stated in a wavering tone, staring her own gaze down in the mirror, "They aren't dead anymore...they aren't even born yet. You're here to _save_ your family. You're here to save Tom's soul, you're here to make sure...make sure none of that shite happens. Get. It. Together."

Calming down a bit she dried her face off and soon reentered the cabin housing her friends, Tom was on his feet in seconds rushing towards her as he quickly took Iris's hands in his own.

" _Are you all right Irisss?"_ He questioned in a slightly demanding tone, which was impressive considering emotion really wasn't conveyed well in parseltongue.

" _I'm fine Tomcat, I've never been on a train before and I think I jussst sssuffered from a bout of motion sssicknesss,"_ he gave her a worried once over before nodding slowly and quickly escorted her back to her seat beside Minerva. Still feeling a bit queasy she turned to her ravenette companion who for her part was staring at her with wide green eyes, and Iris prepared for the worst.

"Well, I be see'in the two of ya are likely go'in to be Slytherins, what with ya be'in parselmouths and all."

That..that was it?

Alphard glanced at the two of them shrewdly before rather adorably pouting, "Why didn't I know you were parselmouths! I'm your favorite! I'm supposed to know all your secrets!"

At that rather childish outburst the girls burst out laughing and even Tom smirked a bit, inwardly Iris couldn't help melting a bit that Minerva hadn't been scared, that Alphard just joked about the gift she and Tom shared.

She realized, with a growing warmth in her chest that this was what she was missing, the easy camaraderie of Harry's closest friends, and she'd just formed the first bonds to create what had been lost for herself.

Wiping away a tear and pretending it had never been there she quickly replaced the sappy smile marring her face with a rather mischievous grin, "Oh that's because we didn't tell you how Lord Arcturus was the first one to find out about it. He was a little embarrassed you see, he showed up at the orphanage and-"

The rest of the trip was taken up by Tom and Iris explaining everything that had happened once they'd received their letters. Much to her amusement both Al and Min were greatly amused with her 'Stabby' charade and her unwavering demands to be made Heiress. Their antics with the Potters were also something of great delight to discuss and easily ate up the remaining time until the Hogwarts Express pulled into Hogsmeade.

As the students disembarked the train the first years shuffled about in indecision before they heard a booming voice shout out loud enough to startle them all.

"First year this way! Line up on the dock and form up in groups of four. Each boat can only hold four of ya, so if ya overload the boat and sink it it's yer own problem!"

Iris decided she much preferred Hagrid's introduction to Hogwarts but pushed that aside as she latched onto Tom and Min while Al took her female companions other arm and soon the quartet shuffled through the crowd of youngsters. Finding an empty boat on the dock Al and Tom helped Iris and Min down before joining the girls, both of which were shivering lightly in the evenings mists swirling about the massive lake.

Both boys exchanged glances, then nodded to each other as Tom opened his robe to throw it across Iris's shoulders and Alphard did the same to Minerva, both girls shot the boys thankful smiles and shuffled into the offered warmth.

As the boats began moving along on their own power they soon made their way through a tunnel, and the moment they exited they witnessed the unveiling of a massive castle on the cliffs glowing with radiant lights, magic, and wonder.

All of the gathered children gasped in startled excitement.

Even Iris, who had seen this once before, didn't bother wiping the tears from her eyes this time, she was finally home after all.

It was as beautiful as she remembered it to be.

The boats soon docked and the disembarking students quickly gathered around each other, it was sort of ironic that this was actually a rather opportune time to form alliances, but since Iris knew next to nothing about these people it didn't really matter. This coupled with Al not caring in the slightest about politics, Min being in the same mindset, and Tom being as clueless as herself, essentially meant the four of them simply huddled together and ignored the world around them.

"That lake was bloody cold!" Minerva stated as she pulled her robes tightly around her slight frame, her friends could only nod in agreement at that.

"Seriously, would warming charms have been that difficult to cast on the boats?" Al tersely spat out as he threw and arm around Minerva pulling her close as she sank into the warmth of his wool robes.

"As the muggles say dear brother of mine you're 'Preaching to the choir', seriously these people..."

Tom was the one who broke the mood though, "The castle...it was beautiful..."

At that his friends relaxed a bit and exchanged warm smiles, Al spoke for all of them as he nodded slowly with a rather sappy smile marring his lips, "It really was..."

Suddenly the main gates swung open as man in bright blue robes with glowing twinkling stars adorning its surface stepped out and walked down the stairs, coming to a stop he looked at the surrounding students and smiled.

"Hello my dear first years, and welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am the Deputy Headmaster and Transfiguration teacher Albus Dumbledore and I greet you all with open cheer."

The speech that followed was painfully identical to the one Harry had heard from future Minny, and soon the auburn haired man led the gathered group through the castle and to the Great Hall. As they shuffled along Iris felt a steely reserve harden within her as she glanced to her companions, her tone as no nonsense as an eleven year old could possibly muster.

"Guys...no matter what...no matter what houses we end up in, we're friends, right? It doesn't matter what our guardians or parents think about it, it doesn't matter what our housemates think, we four will be friends regardless..." After this little bit of bravado she shrank in on herself a bit before whispering, "Right?"

"Of course ya silly lass! Im'a be a pain in yer arse for years to come!" Minerva said this with a wide grin that nearly made Iris bark out in laughter, Alphard soon interrupted this by placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I didn't give up on you when the family did, I'm not going to let a silly school drive me away from ma précieuse petite sœur, you're worrying over nothing."

Tom though weaved his fingers through her own and held her hand close as he gave her a cold, yet confidant smirk, "Riddle comes after Black, whatever they use to choose houses will have to deal with me because I'm not leaving you behind."

Iris flushed at that and nodded, thinking of a cocky redhead, a wild haired brunette, and a slightly spacey blonde as she nodded slowly, "Thanks...guys..."

It was...brilliant..really...to have family she could trust once again...

* * *

 **It's not that I wanted to leave it off here, more like I'm exhausted, and wrote what I did because my insomnia acted up, as it stands I'm going to try and get some sleep.**

 **Once again, I'm sorry about the length of silence since the last update and how short this was, but it was all I could manage right now, I really hope you enjoyed it.**


	14. Sometimes Things Work in Our Favor

**Ever watch Black Butler? Know who Sebastian is and what he looks like? Keep that in mind.**

 **Once again, special thanks to Lady Lily Anne for being my cohort, cowriter, and beta reader, things wouldn't get done nearly as often without her help.**

 **As always, please review!**

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As the children shuffled about uncomfortably under the scrutiny of those sitting at the various tables Professor Dumbledore made his way to the center of the room with a tatty old hat in hand, he turned to face the newcomers with a smile beaming through his auburn beard.

"Now my dear first years it is time for the sorting ceremony, I shall call for you and you will sit before us and the Sorting Hat shall decide which house you will reside in during your time with us at Hogwarts."

Minerva scoffed lightly while leaning in to whisper to her friends, "That's it? Was hop'in we was be'in made to wrestle a troll or som'thin, ah well."

Iris had to hold back a choking laugh and resist the urge to sob as she remembered a flash of ginger hair, laughter, and...no...no no no no. The Weasleys weren't dead, they weren't born yet, stop it. They'd all survive this time... She was knocked out of her reverie as Al was called upon first.

"Black, Alphard!" Dumbledore announced cheerfully, and as her brother in all but name stood Iris grasped Tom and Min's reassuring hands as he strutted out into the middle of the hall and sat upon the offered stool with practiced grace. The tatty hat was placed on his head and remained motionless for well over a minute, then two minutes, then three, eventually the students and even the teachers began shuffling a bit before a voice cracked through the hall.

"Ravenclaw!" Alphard removed the hat and handed it to Professor Dumbledore while he stroked his chin in contemplation, Iris herself was rather gobsmacked at this turn of events but had to keep it to herself. Hadn't Professor Slughorn told Harry how he had every Black in his house aside from Sirius? Had she really changed things so much that Al's plans for the future had shifted alongside her own? She didn't know, and she couldn't ever really know. The past was, as they say, in the past.

So many bloody unanswered questions.

"Black, Iris!" Releasing Tom and Min's hand she stood tall and proud as she strolled out into the middle of the hall mirroring her cousins easy gait while ignoring the whispers and snickers of the surrounding crowds. The supposed squib, the undesirable, the abandoned, she heard all of this, and in a moment of spite she let her true power flex out. Just enough to be noticed, just enough to not be underestimated.

Just enough to be feared.

She relished the feeling of power as all the children reeled back while she stopped before the stool. As they damn well better, she was, after all, a Black, and deserved to be respected, Dorea had told her just as much and she wouldn't lie to Iris.

As she sat upon the stool and the hat was placed on her head the entire room seemed to stop as if it were caught in a freeze frame. After several moments of silence she lifted the brim of the enormous tatty hat and met the gaze of a grim man standing before her.

He was undeniably tall, bearing a regal aura that draped about him like a heavy cloak in winter. His pitch black hair verged on the edge of respectable and ever so slightly too long, neatly combed and styled to look roguishly attractive. His glistening silver eyes gleamed with amusement and unfathomable darkness, which was a bit unsettling coming from someone nearly two metres in height. Wearing a well-tailored and discreetly elegant suit he emitted an aura of proper British aristocracy, much like the Lords of the Victorian era.

She was surprised when he bowed and took her hand to kiss her knuckles lightly.

"Mistress, it is a pleasure to meet you, finally."

"Mi-Mistress?!" She stammered out in horrified confusion, the tall man released her hand and returned to his imposing full height while nodding slowly.

"You collected or claimed all my Hallows through conquest and inheritance Mistress, in Days Gone By, and it was with your Mastery over them that you find yourself in your current position."

Iris felt like her brain was going to breakdown as she whimpered out, "Your Hallows? My current position?"

The tall man sighed as he offered his hand to her again and gently grasped her tiny digits before he began guiding her along the slowly growing path of destruction in a sedate manner. Even in her shock she could tell the previously static Great Hall was shifting from the welcoming feast to a fire scorched debris scattered battlefield.

"You, as Harry Potter held claim over the Cloak of Invisibility, an artifact that Dumbledore had tried to steal for himself to complete the full set. It didn't work, it would never work for one without Peverell blood, he was a stubborn old goat about it regardless. Some people cannot take 'No' for an answer, especially uppity little twats who think they know better than entities older than Creation, oh apologies on the language dear."

"No problem," Iris squeaked out as the man continued talking.

"The Stone of Resurrection, you claimed through the voided Gaunt line through blood and conquest, it mattered not that you left it behind, it was yours and that is that."

They continued on while the center of the hall shifted to the final moments of Harry Potter's life as he summoned a sharp edged bit of broken masonry to collide with Voldemort's skull as the Dark Lord cast the Killing Curse towards him. As the moments passed by slowly Iris could clearly see Voldemort's skull rupture in a wave of gore a bare second before the green curse struck Harry.

"A bare second indeed Mistress...oh how much the slivers of moments count. The Elder wand acknowledged young Mister Potter as its master yes, but it was wielded by a different wizard altogether, it did not know who to follow. Harry solved that problem by killing Voldemort just before his own death, and would you like to know something about wands my dear little Miss Black?"

Iris shivered uncontrollably as she glanced up at the smirking gaunt figure, "What is that...Death?"

Death grinned as he tilted his head to the side, "A wizard's wand unclaimed by conquest cannot kill its master. Do you remember your last thoughts as Harry little one? Do you remember the last wish that passed through your mind as you were struck down by Voldemort's killing curse?"

Iris stood in silence as she watched Harry and Tom kill each other before whispering her response, "I wish I could have saved everyone..."

Death's smile turned indulgent as he released her hand and folded his arms behind his back nodding once, "You wished you could save everyone. Not just your friends and family, not just those you knew personally, but in one selfless moment you wished you could save everyone. Even your enemies, those who tortured and murdered your friends, even the lead psychopath that had led the campaign that left you an orphan and little more than a tool of an old meddler who thought too highly of himself.

"Harry Potter, was, even at his death, a bloody hero. _That_ I could work with."

Iris whimpered lightly as she met his ethereal gaze, "What did you do?"

Flicking a finger in a clear indication he wanted her to follow him Death began walking past the stacks of dead bodies, her friends, her family. Hermione, Ginny and Luna, all dead as they took the insane Bellatrix Lestrange down with them, Ron who had died as he held the dead girls in his arms as he tried to protect their broken mortal shells from the necromancers. Neville, taking Nagini, Rookwood, and Goyle down with him as he roared in defiance covered in the blood of his enemies, rage coloring his eyes while his hands clenched sword and wand.

Fred and George, back to back with Charlie, all three bantering to each other as they took down the last of Voldemort's vampires with them, Daphne and Draco standing over the bodies of their executed parents, refusing to leave their remains behind as they died at the hands of Fenrir Greyback.

It went on and on, and suddenly Iris knew the point Death was trying to make, he noticed she'd finally caught on and smirked as he nodded once before speaking again.

"You died here, in a miasma of magic, at the heart of a Ley Line, at the crescendo of one of the most brutal battles in Magical history while being the Master of the Deathly Hallows, which is why, with a powerful focei upon your head we may finally speak. What I did, was...play with some loopholes.

"Entities such as myself are only allowed limited interaction with the physical world, which trust me, is good for you people and your ongoing existence. I however have a little more leeway due to the simple fact that eventually everything dies and I need to do my job, souls are souls after all and must be collected.

"But, you were the Master over a fraction of my power and hadn't claimed it, and you died without _ever_ claiming it, with a wish upon your thoughts. Now, how was I supposed to help you save everyone without being able to truly interact with the real world, hmm?"

Iris stood there a moment before paling visibly, "No."

Death grinned, "Oh yes. You see, I have direct control over your bloodline, the Peverells had always been my favorites you see, clever lot. But their descendants the Potters had so few left in your time period, and even in the periods proceeding it really, so I had to look at your other bloodines, and wouldn't you know it, I found myself an in to play with."

The Great Hall shifted to sooty snowed in alley and an emaciated slip of a girl huddled against the wall, clearly suffering from a fever and malnutrition, Death gestured to the dying girl with a flourish.

"May I present one Iris Alya Black, abandoned daughter of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black, who incidentally died a mere day after one Tom Marvolo Riddle's eleventh birthday. When I came to her she was...resigned, and wished for her 'shame' to die with her, but as they say, I had work to do. So I struck a bargain with her, and thanks to some judicious bending of the rules she passed on and a moment later I snatched your soul and placed it in her body while activating its magic.

"I admit I cheated a little healing the meatsack but thankfully none of the Powers That Be actually care about that sort of thing unless it interferes with their own work, plus I followed the rules of equivalent exchange regardless. A soul for a soul, a body for a body, memories for memories, it isn't _my_ fault that the Black Family Magic unlocked the latter after all."

Death's smirk made it very clear he had quite intended that to happen and Iris knew it, "Regardless, my job was now done. I completed my Master's final wish, the Hallows were now reset, and all was well with the world."

Iris remained silent for a time before turning to meet Death's gaze evenly, "So...we're done? I don't have any other duties, prophecies, none of that? I'm just in place to try to change the future, to save everyone I can?"

Death shrugged, "More or less, I basically pulled you out of that bastard Fate's meat grinder and handed you off to the much more lenient, and if I am to be honest, kind, Destiny. Wonderful girl, if she ever reveals herself to you offer her strawberries they're her absolute favorite."

Not really processing that Iris rubbed he temples slowly as she met Death's gaze evenly, "So it's over? It's all in my hands now?"

Death nodded, "You are no longer the Master of the Hallows, for now anyway, reclaiming them is your choice, and after this we'll never speak again. That is if you don't reclaim ownership, aside from that, we're done."

Iris remained silent for a time before tentatively asking, "What about Iris? The real...err...original one? The one who I took place of?"

Death smirked at that while shrugging, "Harry Potter is going to need a soul isn't he? And as I said, equivalent exchange. Now, enjoy the feast Miss Black, I dare say you have an amazing future ahead of you."

"SLYTHERIN!" The hat yelled and Iris blinked in confusion as the hat was removed from her head and the Great Hall was clapping politely as she hopped off the stool and made her way to the table of green and silver. Dazed, perplexed, and trying to process what had just happened she sat in silence only clapping when Minerva ended up in Gryffindor and making space for Tom when he was placed in Slytherin with her.

As Tom sat at her side, and discretely took her hand they eventually got through the rest of the sorting and tucked into the offered feast all while she operated on auto-pilot. She'd met Death, and while being absolutely gentlemanly and very cute, was utterly terrifying in the shear power he represented. She shivered and couldn't help but hope his words were true and she'd never have to deal with a being like him again.

The feast ended, and they were soon escorted to the dungeons, and for the first time since she arrived in this timeline she was separated from her Tomcat, and led to the girls dorms while being told proper house introductions would wait till the morning. Thank Morgana for that. Her roommate was a Nott, a brunette with blue eyes named Amanda who seemed alright, but aside from that Iris ignored all else as she tiredly crawled into bed.

Staring at the ceiling she couldn't help the tears that collected in the corners of her eyes, she was stuck here, in the past, because of Harry's dying wish, and it hurt how happy that made her. She was here to make a difference, to save everyone, to save Tom's soul, just like she had thought she was supposed to, and couldn't help snorting a bit remembering Hermione's admonishment that Harry had a saving people thing.

Slipping into slumber she remembered one last tidbit Death had left her with, and fell asleep smiling.

Harry Potter needed a soul, which meant Iris Black would finally have the family she deserved.

For once, being the chew toy of Fate finally played in their favor.

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 **Hope I answered some questions with this, please review!**


	15. How to Slytherin

**So couple things! First off, this chapter is clearing the political BS right outta the way, next will be actual classes (one of them being an alchemy class taught by a blonde from Amestris, woot!) so really this is just kind of clearing** **dead weight. Annoying, probably, and I'm sorry for that.**

 **As an aside NEWS! I opened up an account on Archive of Our Own under the handle of Melfice13 (Nem was taken which really pisses me off since I've been going by that handle since before the year 2000...assholes...) which is from an old Dreamcast game, and I've posted this story in full over there as one cobbled together first act.**

 **It...seems to be doing well? I suggest reading the first part regardless because it kinda super glues the earlier chapters together. Regardless, hope you enjoyed, and please review!**

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Abraxas Malfoy was for all intents and purposes the quintessential Pure-blood heir. He was polite, concise, debonair, and managed to convey a pedigree of aloof haughtiness that was so poignant that his friends often mocked him for it when they were all behind closed doors.

Not that he could really blame them for their ribbing honestly, it was rather ridiculous to believe your own hype after all; still, he did his best to make his family not only look good, but look like the best, as befits a Malfoy.

Last night though, well... That had been different, and it had taken all his willpower to stay silent during the sorting and following feast. Slytherin now housed a mudblood that had been unexpectedly sorted into their fold, along with a girl who was so magically weak she had been thought a squib and had been banished from her family for it.

Though he could not possibly be the only one who felt the pulse of power flowing off of her as she took her seat on the sorting stool...could he?

Bah, mere distractions, he had significantly more annoying things to worry about at the moment after all.

Abraxas, for reasons he could not _begin_ to fathom, had been ordered by the older prefects to put the squib and mudblood in their place while giving the introductory speech about the Slytherin House Policies, hurrah for him. Honestly, this blood purity nonsense irritated him beyond words mostly due to the fact that he was one of the few who actually _studied_ the history and genealogy texts rather than taking 'Professor' Binns for his word.

Something about unbalanced humours in magicals born from muggles or the such, it really made no bloody sense whatsoever regardless. Really anyone who bred horses could explain to you why mating siblings and cousins together was a _bad_ idea, and why bringing new blood into the stock was preferable to the alternatives. Yes the average mudblood was typically ignorant of how to behave in society and they were a rather cantankerous lot, but that could be rectified over time.

This was completely glossed over by Binns though, who, if Abraxas was correct in his investigations, was quoting the cutting edge of magical theory...from the thirteenth century.

Although anything taught by a centuries long dead _ghost_ was rather circumspect after all.

Seriously, was he the only one who saw something wrong with having an entity that drew its last breath several hundred years ago, and hadn't left the castle since said death, teaching History of Magic? Sure, he was there for some of it, but Cuthbert Binns had been an introverted bibliophile most of his living life and proven completely incapable of conveying what he had been through to his students while also being objective.

Bloody worthless History of Magic, all it provided was a nap period really, useless for OWLS much less NEWTS. The undead blighter didn't even grade the papers he demanded on a weekly basis, they just stacked up in the corner until the house elves cleared up the mess.

Pointless waste of time...

What the hell was he thinking about before he had gone on another Binns rant?

Right, the mudblood and squib, or rather not squib really considering she had gotten her letter and had been sorted into his house.

Why was this his problem again? Oh yes, he had drawn the short straw by being the newest male prefect, lovely.

Shaking his head he glanced to his...girlfriend? What was the woman you were betrothed to _after_ you had begun dating called? Really, they actually liked each other and were fairly accepting of the entire ordeal their parents stirred up even if they had complicated it with politics.

Ugh.

Once again distracting himself, he met Emily Rosier's gaze as his fellow prefect and betrothed smirked at him while she tilted her head towards the first year boys dormitories, her heavily lidded eyes betraying no emotion as the children trundled out of the portal.

His apparent objective in ridicule was having a rather animated discussion with Emily's cousin Darren Flint, the dark haired boys wide hazel eyes filled with excitement as he gestured about with his hands.

"Don't you see Tom?! It makes perfect sense! If we add the livers after that it will-"

The mudblood, Tom, cut him off there, "We can't add the toad livers after that, if we did it would become a neutral base and if we increased its acidity even slightly-"

Darren cut him off shaking his head in annoyance as a look of realization crossed his face, "Absolutely right. Everything would explode, and while entertaining, not really practical."

Emily shot Abraxas an amused look and he returned it in kind, rather wishing he did not have to crush this Tom's spirits, he seemed to be an enlightened lad, especially for a mudblood.

You got them on occasion, those born in the muggle world who were so taken by the real world they'd been drawn into that they absorbed as much as possible as fast as they could, and really put out quite an effort to fit in. Still, Pure-blood propriety was the priority regardless sadly enough.

A few moments later several young women walked down from the girls dorms followed quickly by a flock of first years who were fidgeting with their robes as they tailed their elders into the common room, that is aside from one pair in the back.

"I understand the theory I just don't see how you could enchant the blood beforehand without anyone noticing," the girl speaking looked a bit disconcerted, her blue eyes crossing slightly as she regarded her companion.

The redhead just shrugged in return, "My thinking is if you're already planning on cursing the bloke why not apply a healthy dosage of the imperius curse? I mean really you're already breaking the law as it stands so why bother pretending at that point?" Amanda Nott laughed at this as their group intercepted the boys, and that was when Abraxas Malfoy's life was turned upside down.

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Iris was tired, it was early after all, but she was also invigorated and couldn't help smiling a bit. Her dorm mate was actually a rather feisty and intelligent young girl who was a bit too reserved for her own good and needed to be worried out of her shell a bit as it were. Luckily, Dark, Black, Blood, and Cursed Magik intrigued her deeply so it only took talking about some of the light reading Dorea had given her to get the girl talking a mile a minute.

After taking a shower, dressing for the day, and leaving the dorms Iris followed Amanda down the hall while said girl was chattering on about the ritual she had explained before bathing. It _was_ fairly simple,if you had the right ingredients at least, she explained as much but Amanda looked a bit contrite with her blase way of looking at things, not that she really blamed her honestly.

Before anything more could be said she met Tom's gaze across the room and smiled, she along with her best friend both failed to notice that their eyes shifted to violet and red respectively as they approached each other. This was followed by one other small yet incredibly important fact, they both began speaking in parseltongue without noticing it.

" _Tomcat! How did you sssleep? Well I hope?"_ Tom shrugged slightly as he reached out and swept a lose lock of hair from Iris's face shifting it behind her ear in the process.

" _Oh well enough I sssuppossse. A bit lonely, but comfortable ssso really I cannot complain. Apparently the girlsss dormsss have some kind of enchantsss on them to warn the prefectsss if we attempt to sssneak into your roomsss, so that isss a thing."_

Iris pouted at that before shrugging, " _Ah well, I'll jussst have to sssneak into your room then, no big deal right?"_

Tom smirked as he leaned down and kissed her brow, "Not a big deal at all little flower, not a big deal at all."

If either child noticed the entire room staring at them, they didn't show it in the slightest as the girl leaned into the boy, who wrapped his arm around her protectively.

Abraxas snorted in amusement as he tossed out all of the upper years demands while he approached the group of first year students.

"*Ahem*, welcome one and all to the House of Slytherin. There is really only one rule to our house, a simple one that is often ignored and forgotten, and that is 'Don't Get Caught.' I will not demean you all, as young as you are, by pretending you are not forming plots and ploys in your young minds at the moment, that you are all to the last trying to figure out the best way to further your own personal goals."

Abraxas smiled slowly as he swept a lock of blonde hair behind his ear, "Don't feel any shame for this mindset, despite what others may say about it, honestly it just proves one thing really. You are ambitious, and that is why you are in our house. So many people associate our house with Dark Magik, and for a good reason mind, we are not scared of that which we don't fully understand, but that isn't what makes you a member of our House."

Abraxas glanced to Emily who nodded once before stepping forward, "To be a Slytherin," she began, "is to stand apart from the rest, to be an accomplice to something others are too terrified to even consider. Much less delve into.

"We, with on occasion the help of our Ravenclaw sister's, are the one's who push the boundaries of magic, to push the extremes, to use our cunning, ambition, and intelligence to further our understanding of mother magik in a way that would terrify others."

Abraxas smirked as he nodded to Emily and retook the floor, "Slytherin is a family, Emily and I will be your favored elder siblings. We along with the other prefects will be here to guide you, train you, and be there for you as you grow into your magic.

"We, are Slytherin, we are one house, undivided. We do not allow petty arguments and squabbles to become prevalent enough for the professors and other houses to even notice that they had existed."

Emily picked up his line with a steely gaze sweeping across the children, "All feuds, fights, allegiances and alliances happen behind the common room door. We are not Gryffindors, we do not advertise our stance on _anything_ to _anyone_ , and if you have a problem with a member of our house? Take it up with them in private and away from prying eyes, or else."

Smirking Abraxas locked gazes with the mudblood, who _obviously_ wasn't a mudblood if he was a parselmouth, and continued for his betrothed.

"Anyone who has questions, anyone who wishes to know everything they can learn about our society, religion, and powers, can speak to us at any given time, our door as they say, is open."

As he met Tom Riddle's intrigued gaze it took all of Abraxas Malfoy's power to keep his self satisfied smile to himself; the older prefects thought they had been punishing him, and all they had done was grant him a boon. Ah, irony was after all, rather delicious.

* * *

 **On Another Plane of Existence**

In the center of a swirling miasma of magic sat a woman who by appearances alone could not be past her mid thirties at worst, although every time she smiled she looked to be in her late teens at best. Her dusky sun kissed features showcased numerous laugh lines as she kicked her extended legs into the air listlessly, enamored with the magazine held in her grasp.

Glancing at her severely clashing dark toned bare feet and blindingly white capris the woman considered whether a trip to a mall was worth it or not when a resounding bang echoed from the lower foyer.

"SISTER! I KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE! OPEN UP! NOW!" Rolling her glowing gold eyes she sat up as she pulled off the paint spattered smock she had been wearing from her earlier failed attempt at art and slipped on a Mystik Spiral t-shirt. Slipping on a pair of pink foam flipflops she stomped down the stairs and opened the front door to glare at her twin brother.

Taking in his pale bone white visage she raised a single ethereally dark brow as he finally sputtered out, "You...You...You harlot!" Fact, taking a lanky pasty skinned 6'3" man who maybe weighed 120 lbs soaking wet seriously when he was covered in black leather and makeup was next to impossible. The bottle bleached blonde hair and ridiculous piercings didn't help his case in the slightest.

"What the hell are you on about Fate?"

Rolling her eyes Destiny didn't wait for his reply as she turned around and wandered back into the sitting room followed by her fuming brother, who slammed the door behind him.

"You know perfectly well what 'I'm on about'!" You stole souls from me sister! You! Miss follows the rules in the most lackadaisical manner possible stole from your dear brother!"

Destiny plopped back onto her couch of choice as she swept a starscaped lock of fathomless ebony hair from her eyes, "Right...Fate, seriously, I'm like...one of the most laid back beings in existence and totally own up to it. Why would I do anything that would acquire your rather...vocal... intervention?"

Fate scowled then huffed as he stuck his nose up in the air, Destiny did her best not to laugh at his antics, she succeeded...mostly. No need to enable the boy after all.

"Harry Potter and Iris Black, those were my souls! I want them back!"

Destiny openly laughed as she snatched her magazine off the table, "While they are under my purview now I didn't steal those souls dear brother of mine."

Fate snorted in disdain, well...huffed really, it was kind of hard to tell with how much he was playing with his hair honestly.

"Oh? Then who did?"

Kicking one flipflop clad foot to the air Destiny drawled out, "Uncle Death," and left it at that.

There was silence, then there was uncomfortable silence, then there was, "leave my bloody flat you creep," silence. Eventually Fate nodded, much paler then he had been before, which if truth were to be told was rather impressive as well as being unsettling.

"Right then, good seeing you sis," and with that he sprinted out the front door.

Destiny rolled her eyes as she slammed the door shut shaking her head in disdain, "And that sorta cowardice is why you're still alone bro. Creation am I glad mom isn't here to see this...whatever I should call Uncle Death and let him know his little prank went off without a hitch...the prick..."

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 **Please review!**


	16. The First Week

**Greetings all! First and foremost I wish to plug two stories I thoroughly enjoy:**

 **Dahlia Evans & the Broken Bridge by ****Forensica X- "** **Assumed dead, the last Potter grows up an orphan until she finds a home with the Grangers. The family explores magic together, but not all is wonder and enchantment. A killer stalks the streets of Crawley, and the Dark Lord isn't as gone as everyone thinks. Fem!Harry/Hermione. POC!Hermione. Slytherin!Hermione. Grey!Dumbledore. Violence & Suggestive Themes."**

 **Forensica X has been reviewing my stuff for years and I can't help but support their own works, which are well written, planned out, and innovative. Frankly, saying that they have failed to bore me yet is praise I can give very few and I honestly wish they'd update more often, fully embracing the hypocrisy there, heh.**

 **The Unbroken Savior by ElegantlyDone- "** **Harry Potter gets captured in his 6th year, only to die and get sent back in time.. with a twist. He is reborn a girl with wild and uncontrollable magic while trying to stop Voldemort's rise to power with the help of Dumbledore. Can he change the future? Or is it set in stone?** "

 **Seriously this story is epic with Dumbledore taking on a positive leadership role and taking the changed Harry's warnings to heart while doing his best to try and make the now young girls burdens manageable. I'm not going to ruin it for you, read it.**

 **And with that, week one! Now we are definetly going to have year jumps soon, spending just enough time to get to know Iris's class and solidify her relationships before they get drawn into the Second World War, which will be, all told, epic in scope since Harry was a history nerd before he was drawn into the magical world.**

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After receiving their schedules from Professor Slughorn Iris and Tom's Hogwarts careers began fairly similar to Harry's, which is to say their classes were initially nothing to really write home about.

Which was, all told, honestly rather disappointing as far as Iris was concerned.

Tranfiguration with Professor Dumbledore was amusing sure, but he kept focusing on Tom and Iris which made the pair of them uncomfortable, which in turn made Alphard somewhat hostile towards the professor in question. Say what you will about the Black family, when you chose your favorites, they stayed your favorites, and Alphard Black had always held his little cousin Iris in the highest regards. It warmed her heart a bit that her cousin cared so much, but at the same moment it annoyed her to no end that she and Tom were being singled out by a teacher like this.

It wasn't that Iris didn't understand _why_ they garnered so much extra attention, the Heiress Black and the Heir Slytherin being all comfy cozy really _should_ draw some attention after all, but still...

The fact was, they were both only eleven, they had never done anything to earn anyone's ire, and she was starting to wonder if mayhaps this overt hostility was one of the reasons the original Tom took the path he did...something to think on at the very least.

Charms was, much like in Harry's time taught by Professor Flitwick, who at this time happened to be much younger, more excitable, and just as much fun as his later incarnation. It was odd, really, that Iris really didn't gain anything new from her experiences with him, honestly it was almost depressing how static the class seemed to be. She pushed that away for now though, after all it was only first year right?

Defense Against the Dark Arts was taught by a Hit-Witch loaned out by the Ministry, and she was terrifying in ways that Madeye Moody wished he had been. Professor Able was someone Iris had decided to never, under any circumstances cross and did her best to keep her head down in class, obviously due to being a Dark Witch and all.

Survival instincts, she had them.

Herbology was herbology, the teacher, one Professor Cutting was concise, informative, and ultimately boring. Iris honestly felt Pamona Sprout had been better at the job, but she didn't really care enough to make comment on it.

History was taught by Professor Binns yet again, which meant she and all her fellow students learned nothing of value. The more things change, the more they stayed the same it would seem.

Potions was...well... It involved interacting with Professor Slughorn, which automatically made the entire ordeal creepier than it truly needed to be. He gave the exact same speech he had Harry's sixth year, and offered a classroom of _eleven year olds_ the Felix Felicis elixir as a prize for the best brewed potion.

Thank Morgana Tomcat won it, at least Iris would know when it was being used, how that idiot man was allowed to be around children boggled Iris's sanity. Like many things she had encountered in the magical world, she pushed it out of mind in hopes the idiocy would go away, it really was the only hope she had at this point.

Introduction to Alchemy though, that was a new one.

Alchemy was honestly something Iris knew next to nothing about, and she would readily admit to it. Sure Harry knew of Nicholas Flammel and had saved the Philosopher's Stone from Voldemort his first year at Hogwarts, but really that was as far as her knowledge went. So this new class was, well...not new at all really. In all actually it was fairly well established at this point in history but had been rid of by Harry's time, thus it was a complete unknown to her and all the more interesting for it.

With that thought in mind Tom and and Iris approached the 'Introduction to Alchemy' classroom, and when they crossed its threshold Iris couldn't help gasping a bit as she took in the vast swaths of posters and tapestries lining the walls. All of them were decorated with intricate runic arrays and had indecipherable incantations swirling about them. It was incredibly hypnotic and the young girl could feel the power practically oozing from the walls in pulsing waves.

Shaking her head to clear her senses, and feeling rather foolish for having to do so, she grabbed Tom's hand and rushed to the front of the room only to see that Minerva had beaten them to the front desk.

So they had this class with the Gryffindors, good to know. Dropping to the seat beside her friend Iris waved to Minnie while whispering a hello, Tom seating himself beside her as he ignored the Gryffindor boy who took the only remaining seat on his opposite side.

After they were settled in Iris quickly chirped out, "So Min, How are you doing?"

Minerva grinned and shrugged a bit as her fingertips gently rapped across the desks surface, "Ello love! Do'in pretty good, feel'in a bit of a charge about me at the moment though, this room is...different."

Iris could only nod as Tom 'hmm'd' while he glanced about the rooms many glowing arrays before replying, "Yes, this place feels...different...I just don't know how to describe it..."

Before either girl could respond to him the office door swung open and a tall blonde man in a period appropriate suit and brown overcoat walked into the classroom mumbling to himself in German. He approached the desk and dropped a stack of parchments on its top before turning his gaze to the class to assess his new crop of students.

Golden yellow eyes that burned with untold knowledge glinted as he set himself at a military rest, broad shoulders locked into place as he tilted his head to the side, his long messy blonde hair framing his face in light shadows the entire time.

Every female in the classroom, Iris included, gulped when he flashed a brilliant bright white smile as his eyes closed a bit, clearly pleased with what he had seen.

"Hello students! My name is Professor Edward Elric, and I will be your Alchemy instructor for the duration of your tutelage at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." His voice was clear and concise, with only the faintest of accents, and as he began role call Iris couldn't help squeaking a bit in response when her name was called.

Thoroughly embarrassed she did her best to hide her blush in the shadows of her hair and tried not to meet Minerva's knowing gaze, not like her friend had any room to talk regardless since she was essentially in the same position as her.

It was with this thought that Iris came to an absolutely horrific realization, and had to fight down a panic attack as she processed it all.

She was having her first girlhood fancy. It was probably best that she didn't notice Tom's dark glare being shot towards the focus of her interest, at least for now his innate jealousy was offset by the fact that her free hand was currently gripping his own.

On that note her inner Harry screamed in despair, then relented a few moments later in resignation. It could be worse after all, it could have been a Lockhart situation like with Hermione, and with that thought Iris regained her composure and focused on her professor as he coughed to regain everyone's attention.

"Now with that out of the way, I'd like to ask you kiddos something, what is the primary rule of alchemy?" No one raised their hand, the children glancing at their neighbors in hope that someone could answer the question, but it wasn't to be.

Nodding knowingly Professor Elric snatched up a piece of chalk and turned to the blackboard quickly writing two words across it, when done he turned back to his pupils grinning widely once again.

"Equivalent Exchange. It is the very basis of alchemy and what separates it from the art of transfiguration, since with transfiguration you can make something out of nothing, but it never lasts. Alchemy though requires something equal in exchange for what you wished to create, the benefit to this is this change is _permanent_."

Iris couldn't help herself as she pulled a Hermione and shot her free hand up earning a raised eyebrow from Tom and a suppressed snicker from Min, looking slightly amused Professor Elric pointed to her while nodding once.

"A question Miss Black?"

Shifting about a bit suddenly feeling uncomfortable under the classes combined scrutiny she coughed into her hand before replying with, "So what you're saying is you reap what you sow when it comes to alchemy?"

He hummed to himself a moment before nodding slowly, "I suppose that is one way of looking at it, another is that you get what you put into it. If you supply raw materials that are closely related to what you want to eventually transmutate, while also supplying an adequate amount of power your end result will be much closer to what you had intended to create."

Pausing he tapped his chin a couple time before smiling again while dipping his hand into the dustbin next to his desk, quickly removing a wadded up ball of parchment that he tossed up and down a few times before turning back to the class.

Meeting Iris's gaze he nodded once while gesturing to the ruined wad of parchment, "This is obviously organic material, yes?" After the class murmured their agreement he dropped it on the desk while whipping out a piece of chalk, and in a few swift movements had drawn a simple array around it on the wood surface.

Placing a finger on the array he turned back to the class and smirked as a flash of blue light enveloped the parchment, and a moment later what looked to be a small stone gargoyle appeared in its place. Snatching it up he tossed it in the air a few times before whipping it at Iris, and Harry's years of playing seeker paid off yet again as her hand released Tom's and shot out snapping the small statue out of the air.

"I wanted it to be granite, what do you think about the end result?" Iris opened her hand to stare down at the small figurine, Tom speaking as he bent his head down to examine the item critically.

"The detail is amazing...can transfiguration do that as well?" He jumped a bit as Professor Elric spoke up, staring down at the pair with a smirk crossing his lips.

"Yes, but it won't last, someone like Professor Dumbledore could probably get it stay as is for a few years, but after that the magic wears off and it reverts to what it originally was. Now, Miss Black, the verdict?"

Iris poked at the statue a few times, and frowned as she noticed there was a bit of give to the item in question, "It...it isn't granite, it's kind of squishy..."

Professor Elric nodded as he walked back to the front of the room and began writing on the blackboard again, "Organic to Organic, mineral to mineral. Sure you can crossover the two, but you'll never get a perfect end result, so unless you're in a hurry try to think through what you're about to do. It will save you a headache in the end I assure you."

He paused for a moment before smiling yet again as he extended a gloved hand towards the enraptured first years as he continued on.

"Something else Alchemy has on Transfiguration is that with organic to organic transmutation you can turn something like grass clippings, which are indigestible to humans, into bread. It isn't changing the nutritional value of the items in question, but it does change them into something compatible, and most importantly, permanent."

Minerva gasped while covering her mouth, emerald eyes widening in shock, "It circumvents Gamp's First Exemption of Transmutation!"

Professor Elric glanced at the small Scottish girl a moment before nodding in approval, "That it does Miss McGonagall, and five points to Gryffindor for catching on quickly." He glanced at Iris before nodding once again in recognition, "And five points to Slytherin for Miss Black's curiosity, never lose that drive for knowledge young one. It will lead you to many misadventures, but I guarantee you'll never regret them."

Eventually when class let out the gathered students gathered their things and left, Minerva following along with Tom and Iris as the trio soon caught up with Al who was leaving History for magic, and was thus energized from his obvious nap.

"My good man and dear ladies! How was your afternoon?" The grinning boy asked as he snaked his arm around a now blushing Minerva's while Tom did the same to Iris. Tom spoke up first, and honestly his words struck true so initially Iris felt no need to add her opinion.

"Well, after taking all our first year courses, outside of flying mind you which I'm still iffy about, I can honestly say I like Potions and Alchemy the most. Although I may be a bit biased, this is Professor Flitwick's first year teaching so he is inexperienced, and Professor Able isn't really a teacher, and Professor Dumbledore is..."

"Creepy is the word you're looking for Tomcat," Iris interjected with heavily hooded eyes, looking for a split second like her future niece Bellatrix, "his interest in us is creepy..."

"Aye, glad I wasn't the only one to notice that. He keeps staring at ya two dur'in meals, it's offsett'in is what it is," Minerva threw out with a shake of her head, Tom nodded in agreement while Al let out a tired sigh."

"That it is, but it's something we'll have to contend with for the time being, what did you lot think of Professor Elric?"

"He's brilliant," Iris stated immediately with a sharp nod, she did notice Tom tense up slightly at this so she rolled her eyes and pulled him closer to her while gripping his hand tightly. This seemed to settle him down a bit so she continued on, "I think he was active military and spent little to no time sequestered in a magical community. Frankly, he has too much common sense to be like your average magical."

"He was military, actually, before he punched out the Chancellor for Magic of Germany when he attempted to recruit Elric and his brother." All four children let out an 'Eep!' as they jumped a foot in the air, turning around they met the gaze of a bemused Abraxus Malfoy who nodded to them once in recognition.

"My apologies, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but rather wished to answer your questions. Professor Elric and his entire family recently emigrated to the UK from the city state of Amestris because Chancellor Grindlewald and himself came to conflicting conclusions on what path should be taken in magical Germany. Their loss is our gain though, the man is a genius, and his wife is the most skilled artificer enchantress this side of the Maginot Line, ah but I'm holding you four up, do enjoy dinner."

The quartet nodded slowly as the blonde heir walked past them followed by his retinue, eventually Iris shook her head slowly sending her crimson tresses swaying, "I just do not know what to think of that man..."

Minerva snorted as she bumped her friends shoulder lightly, "Almost like he's a Slytherin, ain't it lass?" This earned a giggle from her and snorts of amusement from the boys, and soon they found themselves sitting together at the Ravenclaw table. As the friends tore into their dinner Iris glanced up to the High Table and observed the Headmaster speaking quietly to Dumbledore and promptly ignored them for the time being.

Professor Flitwick met her gaze and gave her a brief salute with his goblet which she returned, Professor Able ignored her existence, but it was Professor Elric that caught her attention. His gold gaze locked onto her and he nodded once, and with a flick of his wand sent a folded note to silently float towards her without being noticed by anyone but Tom, Min, and Al.

Opening the note with slight apprehension Iris read its one simple line in confusion, but turned to her Professor nodding once, and he only grinned in return. Dropping the note to the table Iris dug into her meal as her companions read the brief message, ' _Would you and your friends like to find out your elemental alignments?'_

She wasn't sure why she and her friends were being singled out, but she'd never heard of elemental alignments before in either of her lives, and the man's smirk screamed that it was going to be something interesting for sure.

Well, it was the professor in question that told her to sate her curiosity, and while curiosity killed that cat, satisfaction had brought it back. Hogwarts, it would seem, was going to be _very_ interesting in the coming years.

* * *

 **I'm back! Lily and I were kinda, well...stuck for a bit on this one, but we got through it and I promise next chapter will be longer, it was just the hurdle of getting through all the 'Same old same old' and introducing Iris's passion course, namely Alchemy, that held us up.**

 **The Elemental Alignment may seem a bit random but keep in mind that they're only in their first week so they don't quite understand the importance of Ed's questioning, namely that Iris is going to eventually be channeling a Pyromaniac Colonel much to Edward's chagrin.**

 **Anyway I hope you all enjoyed, and please, review!**


	17. Elemental Alignment

**So any of you ever watch** **Katekyō Hitman Reborn? It's a cool series, _after_ the first twenty episodes. The first twenty were disjointed, confusing, often times just plain stupid until the writer had discovered this thing called a _plot._**

 **That's how this story came into being, it's something Lady Lily Anne and I have discussed in the past and it's the reason this hasn't been updated in nearly a year. I made it on a whim, wrote whatever the hell I wanted, and had to weave all that crazy shit into a believable plot when I decided to actually do something with it.**

 **So when my insomnia reared its vile head once again I figured, why not redirect it at something I've been ignoring rather than indulging in yet another plot bunny, so here we are.**

 **Written in about...oh an hour? I know it's a very small morsel but if I'm given my usual feedback for this particular story I'm sure I'll come up with something fun soon.**

 **Now, I need some damn sleep, enjoy!**

* * *

Iris had to wake up extra early to make sure she could drag Tom out of the boys dorms without incident, primarily because her Tomcat didn't begin functioning until roughly ten minutes after he had been awoken and wouldn't fight her on it.

They then managed to bullshit their way through the Ravenclaw puzzle password offered up by the eagle head knocker to kidnap Alphard with little difficulty. Primarily since it was still so early in the term that it was aimed towards firsties like themselves, rather than trying to melt the minds of NEWT level students for it's own amusement.

Getting Minnie wasn't that much more difficult, the two Blacks and one groggy Riddle had just aimed their wands at the Fat Lady and demanded their friend be brought down immediately or _things_ would happen.

Iris loved that euphemism; if questioned the _things_ involved could have been something as innocent as a tickling jinx and none would be the wiser, you know, despite the fact she was fully willing to Hiroshima the fuck out of that annoying ass painting.

Still that was not necessary since Minerva soon made her way down slamming the painting behind her yawning loudly in the process. Pity, maybe indiscriminate nuclear warfare would be on the menu next time she decided to pull such shenanigans.

"What's go'in on lass? Morn'in boyos, bit early isn't it?"

Al and Tom waved to her while Iris grinned in turn, "Yeah but Professor Elric wanted to meet with us before classes to find our elemental alignments, so I figured why not get their early and ambush him to see what he's got?"

Her friends stared Iris down a few moments before they nodded as one.

"I'm down," Al said with a smirk.

"Aye, this should be interest'in," Minerva said with a Cheshire Cat grin.

"If he is taken down by four first years he doesn't deserve to teach us...well played little flower."

"Aw thanks Tomcat!" With that she pecked his cheek causing his cheeks to flush a bit, Alphard and Minerva exchanged glances then rolled their eyes, soon following the Slytherin pair down to the Alchemy classroom.

It was unlocked and shrouded in shadows, easily finding places to hide the four children settled in place and waited patiently. Well, sort of, Tom really had to pee, Al kept falling asleep and hitting his head on the wall, Minerva kept resisting the urge to sneeze, and Iris had to resist the urge to hum the theme from Tetris.

Tetris, oh fuck! She could totally make that in the wizarding world which would be awesome! Sure it was the only game she had ever gotten to play on Dudley's Gameboy since he hated puzzles but it had been a blast and she was sure the Magical world would like it. Shouldn't be too difficult if she actually paid attention to her classes and took electives that weren't a joke. Maybe-

Her rambling train of thought was derailed as the door slammed open, the four of them jumped out and were casting very minor jinxes at the silhouette in the doorway when four rapid fire red beams shot forth and Iris could only think one thing as she fell to the floor.

'Hot _damn he's fast!_ '

* * *

Edward Elric sat behind his desk, hands locked together before his face as his elbows rested on his desk feeling absolutely...amused. That was it, he was so damn amused he couldn't put words to it; these kids had done something he would have roped his brother into when they were brats and they probably would have pulled it off if it wasn't aimed at, well, him.

Still, as they groggily regained consciousness and shuffled about their chairs eventually they set their unsure gazes upon him while he grinned widely in return.

"Guten morgen studenten, nice little ambush you had set up there, needs some work though."

Iris Black, who Ed had already tagged to be the future leader, or at the very least co-leader of this generations class of trouble makers scoffed as she dropped her head to Tom Riddle's shoulder while muttering, "Yeah, we kinda got that sir."

Ed waved that off in amusement, "None of that sir stuff little one, and better luck next time, I'm looking forward to it in fact! Life can get so...boring when you're not being constantly challenged after all. Anyway, you kids are here for a reason, so lets get to it so we can all go to breakfast yes?"

The four nodded quickly and Ed pushed four rune encrusted baked clay squares in front of him and each child took one in hand, "Now, finding your elemental alignment is not hard at all. Mastering it, yes, is a long term endeavor, but finding what your element, or, in rare cases _elements_ are is easy enough. Simply push your magic into the tablet and we'll know where to go from there."

The kids exchanged glances then held their tablets before them and concentrated all their will into the magical focei.

Edward had a lot of hope for these four, the runic arrays he had set up around his classroom to detect their alchemic potential had lit off like a fireworks display when they had taken their seats, and they had been the only ones in their year group to do so.

As it ended up he wasn't disappointed in the slightest.

Minerva's cooked off first, rich loam, tree sprigs, and leafy mint boiled off her tablet causing her to drop it in shock.

"Earth alignment, that signifies stability, growth, nurturing, yet anyone who provokes you will find out exactly how harsh nature can truly be. Very nice young one."

Minerva blushed at that and then began examining the flora growing off the tablet, Ed let out an amused snort at that, future scholar that one.

Next was Alphard, he was cocking his head to the side examining his tablet when he was sent flying backwards by a gust of air, shakily taking to his feet he glared at his tablet while Edward let out a laugh.

"Air alighnment. You're flexible, unpredictible, yet, reliable, very nice mister Black."

It was Tom and Iris that drew his concern though as their tablets cooked off at the same time.

* * *

Tom stared at his stupid clay tablet for over five minutes, Alphard and Minerva already having gained their alignments much to his annoyance.

He liked them well enough, sure, but he and Iris were so obviously stronger than them and the fact that they hadn't found their elements yet galled him to the point that he could do nothing but glare at the brown slab before him.

How _dare_ it make him look...insufficient? How dare this little piece of clay make him look inferior to his peers? How-

"Oh holy shit."

Tom stated this as he pushed back from the table as his tablet froze over, billowing wind spraying out snowflakes as icy spikes shot out around it, snakes of organic ice sang while flying serpants calling for him, and as shocked as he was at his own tablet Iris, well...

He watched his Iris as she stared in open awe at an inferno that burst forth from her tablet, fiery phoenix, galloping unicorns wrought in flame, and roaring dragons rising before them. All stared at the pair as fire and ice met, and danced about each other in harmony.

"Well...shit. I have an Infernomancer and a Glaciesmancer on my hands... Well...shit...Fuck... Just...fuck..."

The kids all looked towards their professor who gave them a rather wan smile as he finally stopped muttering to himself, "Err...congrats kiddos...you're kind of...weapons of mass destruction."

His apprehension gave way to concern when rather than being shocked, Tom and Iris exchanged glances, then began _laughing._

* * *

 **They would laugh at the revelation wouldn't they? Arcturus is going to need antacids.**


End file.
